


The Red String of Fate

by Little_wing95



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Friendship, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Lightsaber Battles, Lightsabers, POV Alternating, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Multiple, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pre-Relationship, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Spoilers, The Force, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-01 20:39:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13302756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_wing95/pseuds/Little_wing95
Summary: Basically what I think is going on with Kylo Ren/Ben behind the scenes during TLJ, but keeping in line with what is shown on screen. Will include scenes from TLJ, so obviously major spoilers. I'll be moving onto what I think may happen in episode IX!





	1. The Forest

**Author's Note:**

> I'm completely new to AO3, so apologies if I do something I shouldn't/don't do something I should. I've been writing my own books for ten years, and this is my second fanfic. I'm trying to keep very much in line with the character's canon personalities. Of course, constructive criticism is very much appreciated!

Kylo Ren ignited his lightsaber. The scavenger and her traitorous friend skidded to a halt. His shortcut had paid off. He could feel the scavenger's eyes come to a stop on his own, her lips parted in surprise. She shared a look with the traitor, a feeling of unease passing almost visibly between them. The scavenger stepped in front of the traitor, approaching Kylo slowly with the traitor close behind her.

Kylo Ren was hunched slightly, trying to ignore the pain radiating from his side. He had ran along the shortcut; channelling the pain to push his legs even as they had protested. He couldn't let her get away. He wouldn't. His lips parted to take a deep breath; readying himself for the confrontation.  
“We're not done yet”. He said, his gaze fixed firmly on the girl. He could feel the traitor staring at him but he did not look his way. The girl's piercing hazel eyes returned Kylo's gaze, her chest expanding slightly with each breath. The air seemed to crackle between them.

“You're a monster” she seethed. He hadn't expected anything less.  
“It's just us now” Kylo said, his eyes never leaving the girl's face. “Han Solo can't save you”. The girl had been fond of Han Solo; he remembered.

Kylo Ren pulled his fist back into his side, burying it deep in his wound. He hit it two, three, four, five, six times, feeling the pain flare within him. Pain was necessary, pain was useful. He channelled it into his core, readying himself for the inevitable battle. The girl was clearly not going to let herself be taken easily; nor did the traitor seem willing to step aside.

The girl's eyes darted to the ground at Kylo's feet; where the wound had left drops of blood melting the snow beneath them. Her eyes returned to his face, a look of defiance – no, a look of sheer hate – displayed there. She pulled the blaster up between them, ready to kill the man that had murdered her friend. Kylo was ready for it; he pushed out with the force as hard as he could. The blaster fell from her hand as she was thrown backwards through the air. She screamed. The traitor whipped around to her, his voice screaming her name.

“REY!”

  
She collided with one of the trees and fell lifeless into the snow. The traitor turned his back on Kylo, racing to the girl's side. She wasn't dead; of that Kylo was certain. His intent had been to knock her unconscious, not to kill her.  
“Rey. Rey”. The traitor dropped to his knees by the girl, one hand on her shoulder as he gingerly lifted her head to check that she was okay. He pulled her head onto his lap. The sight only served to infuriate Kylo more. Did the traitor not realise that there was no hope of escape? The girl had slipped away from Kylo once before; he wasn't about to let it happen again.

“Rey? Rey? Rey? Rey?” The traitor said. “No no no no, Rey!” He clutched her head delicately between his hands, as though she would crack like glass. Kylo knew her better than this boy did; he had been in her mind, had seen her strength in a way that this boy clearly had not. Who did he think he was, to treat the scavenger like a common, delicate little girl? As if he were not beneath her! As if he were not beneath her and all who possessed the power to wield the force! Kylo seethed as he swung his saber, stalking towards the traitor, but the traitor made no move to run. If he wasn't prepared to leave her, then he would have to die at her side.

“TRAITOR!” He screamed at the boy. He would dispose of the traitor, this boy that stood between him and what he had to possess; this girl who was power untamed and the strength to wield it. The traitor pulled something from his pocket. What was it? Kylo caught a glimpse of it as the traitor turned to face him, finally. It was a lightsaber. Where did the traitor get a lightsaber?! He held it by his head as he flicked the switch, igniting it in a deathly blue light.

Instantly, Kylo Ren knew. He had never actually seen the lightsaber, but he recognised it like an old friend. Shock flooded his core. The lightsaber belonged to Kylo Ren. It was his by birthright. Ren pointed his weapon at the traitor.  
“That lightsaber” he growled “It belongs to me”. If the traitor was surprised he did not show it.  
“Come get it” he shot back, charging at Kylo.

Kylo brought his lightsaber up to meet with the traitor's. Sparks flew as they connected. Kylo lunged at him, missing his head by inches. The traitor brought his weapon down as Kylo deflected it swiftly. The traitor was untrained; he was holding it all wrong. Kylo would make short work of him. The traitor tried for him again and this time Kylo's deflect sent him backwards. Kylo swung at him again, always advancing. Sparks flew as the traitor tried to block him. The attempt sent him veering back, tripping over his feet and landing in the snow.

Kylo took advantage of the moment, turning away from the traitor with a hiss of pain. Each movement was sending sparks of pain through his core. Kylo wasn't sure how much longer he could fight; he was running on the power of the force alone, and that seemed to be failing him. Chewie – Chewbacca's – shot had weakened him – or was it killing his father that had done the damage? He hit his side once more, funnelling the pain urgently into his limbs. With pain there was power. Power that Kylo Ren could use.

He heard the traitor climbing to his feet once more and he spun; venom in his eyes. He had to make this quick. He dodged the traitor's unbalanced swing and he went stumbling past, Kylo Ren turning around to follow him. He brought the lightsaber once more in front of him, swinging it fluidly around in his hand. Surely the traitor could see that this was a fight he was hopelessly outmatched in? The traitor's eyes were wide with fear as Kylo advanced. Kylo swung at him, once, twice and a third time that sent the traitor backwards as Kylo's lightsaber missed his jugular by mere inches. Kylo used the force of his swing to spin around and come at the traitor again; this time stronger, faster. His lightsaber connected with the traitor's once more, but the traitor was backed up against a tree with no way to escape. Kylo had him.

Kylo pushed into him with force, his side screaming as he forced the sabers closer and closer to the boy's throat. The boy growled with the effort it took to hold him back. The side-jet of Kylo's saber brushed against the boy's jacket and Kylo forced it into his shoulder. The traitor was panting, taking huge gulps of air against the pain. He looked down at the saber that was burning it's way into his skin and screamed.

Kylo drew his lightsaber back and swung once more at the traitor. The boy ducked and the saber slashed through the trunk behind him. The boy tried to run, swinging back to block another strike. Kylo was caught off-guard and the traitor's saber cut a deep gash in his right arm, cauterizing the flesh as it passed. Kylo was turned around, grunting with pain as he clutched it. The traitor had hit him.

He swung back around as he heard the saber swing for him again. This time Kylo forced the saber down and to the right. It swung out of the traitor's hand and landed several feet away in the snow, extinguishing as it fell. The traitor was finished. Kylo hit out, punching the traitor and sending him spinning. He arched the saber up the traitor's spine, cutting through the leather of his jacket and deep into the flesh beneath. The traitor crumpled into the ground beneath him. It was finished.

Kylo extinguished the saber, turning to search for the traitor's – the lightsaber that had once belonged to Kylo's own grandfather. He spotted it half buried in the snow and extended his arm, beckoning the force to pull the saber towards him and complete his arm once and for all.

The lightsaber shook, but otherwise it did not budge.

Kylo steeled himself, drawing in what little energy he had left, throwing everything he had at the weapon that was his by right. It still did not move. Kylo sucked in a breath – surely his wounds could not have weakened him enough that he couldn't even summon a lightsaber?! - and reached for it again.

With a flurry of snow it shot out of the ground and zipped towards him. Too fast; it wasn't going to stop. Kylo leaned out of it's path as the lightsaber shot passed him and flew into the hand of another. Kylo turned to see who's claim could have possibly been stronger than his.

It was the girl, the scavenger. She eyed the lightsaber in shock; as though she had not expected her summons to work. The wind whipped the flakes of snow softly around her and pulled at the strands of hair not tucked into her buns. The girl's piercing hazel eyes met his own and Kylo wondered briefly if her eyes were strong enough to pierce directly through his soul. The air hummed with power around her, it was so tangible that Kylo thought he could hear it. She looked down at the lightsaber, her eyes flickering back to him and away again as shock and uncertainty turned to determination in her face. Kylo couldn't move; he couldn't avert his eyes from the girl before him, even if he'd wanted to. He felt pulled inexplicably towards her as though tethered by a string. In that moment the traitor at his feet, the forest and the snow falling around them, everything fell away until there was nothing left in the world but her. He had been amongst force-sensitives before; in the academy of his youth, in the presence of his master, in the very knights that he commanded. None of them had ever had this affect on him. Who was she? She gripped the lightsaber in both of her hands, fixing her gaze on him as she readied herself for battle. She ignited the lightsaber, the blue reflecting off her tanned skin.

She was marvellous. And now he was going to have to fight her.

Kylo ignited his weapon, spinning it in his hand. How was he going to disarm her without hurting her? Now that she was awake, how was he possibly going to convince her to come with him? He met his gaze, her eyes steeled with determination. She grit her teeth as she charged into battle.

Kylo readied his lightsaber to block her as she lunged for him. She swung the saber – unbalanced, untrained but strong – and he stepped out of it's path. She swung for him again and narrowly missed him. He brought his saber up to block her again and again as she swung and lunged at him with venom. What was he supposed to do, now that he was faced with an opponent too valuable to hit?

He ran.

Her swing missed him, cutting through the tree like butter. Kylo chanced a swing at her saber, hoping to dislodge it from her hand. The force of the swing sent her spinning. He swung at it again and she blocked him. She lunged for him wildly, intent on piercing it through his chest. This was going terribly. He needed to finish this quickly before the pain from his injuries became too much for him to defend himself against her. He swung and cut down another tree as he missed her. She twisted away from the edge of his saber and turned to face him, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Kylo ren grit his teeth as he blocked another of her advances and tried to force the lightsaber from her hands.

He was forcing her backwards, towards a rocky outcrop. She let out a noise of distress as she fought his attempts to disarm her. He landed hit after hit against her lightsaber, aiming only ever for it, trying as much as he was able to not land a fatal blow. He spun against her block and she used to moment to run, clambering up the side of the rock and onto the ground above him. He swung for the tip of her saber and missed, sparks flying as he hit the rock. She jumped nimbly out of the way. He was losing her.

She jumped to the other side of rock face and tumbled expertly through the snow. He used the moment to climb the rocks himself, bringing himself back up to her level. Urgency quickened his swings. She returned them, cutting down a fallen tree above him as she fought to escape. He ran after her. Fear fluttered in his heart; the pain in his side was slowing him down. Would it mean that he would lose her altogether? She turned to face him, probably realising that escape was unobtainable. Her face was empty of hope, her eyes searching. He felt something; what was it?.

She grit her teeth and lunged at him once more, but he was prepared. He blocked her and sparks flew from the crash of their lightsabers. Determined to finish the battle least his strength fail him, he targeted her weapon once more, landing hit after hit on the saber. She stumbled, the tip of the saber brushing the snow and sending a pillar of steam as it passed. He advanced on her, pushing her further and further back. She was losing.

The was an almighty crash as the ground gave way behind her. Trees toppled, crashing into the snowy earth. The very ground was cracking, becoming unstable. She looked behind uncertainly. He gave her the time to look. She seemed determined to finish their battle, even with the more pressing threat approaching. He pushed her closer and closer to the edge, gritting his teeth with the effort. When would this battle end?

He lunged, connecting his saber with her own. She pushed him back, but – eager to end the conflict – he did not untangle their weapons, pushing back at her until the saber was inches from her skin. If this carried on much longer she would die – either at the hands of the chasm behind her or the interlocked lightsabers in front. What was he supposed to do?

The wind whipped around them dangerously as pieces of the ground they stood on crumbled around them. Kylo was exhausted; his pain was immeasurable. They were both soaked through with the sweat of the efforts of their battle. The girl was mere inches from the chasm that threatened to swallow them both. Fear fluttered in Kylo's heart.

“You need a teacher” he seethed. _Please, don't make me kill you_. “I can show you the ways of the force”. She met his eyes, the pools of her pupils perfectly reflecting the light from the sabers; blue against red. Her eyebrows were drawn together tight in confusion, her lips parted. She clearly hadn't expected Kylo's proposal, especially not in the middle of their fight. Did she really not understand how special she was? Her eyelashes fluttered against the light from their interlocked weapons.

“The force?” The question was not aimed at Kylo. Determination set her face once more and she shut her eyes against the light of their battle. Kylo waited, pushing against the girl's lightsaber enough to prevent her from breaking free, but not enough to advance their interlocked blades. Curiosity held him back; what was she doing? She steadied her breathing, her chest rising and falling visibly with each breath. Kylo waited, his eyes fixated on her face. Her lashes were long thick, the soft, smooth skin of her eyelids relaxed as she steadied herself. Her lips parted as she breathed, a pale, gentle pink which seemed to shimmer in the light of the sabers. The wind whipped at her hair, a few stray strands falling about her face, framing her sun-kissed skin. Her hair seemed almost black in what little light remained of the diminishing sun. The force seemed to hum around her, building until it was almost audible. He gritted his teeth against the pain in his side; the pain of holding back her lightsaber for so long. He wouldn't last much longer. What was she doing?

The girl opened her eyes, staring right back at Kylo and so it seemed, right through to his soul. She had a look of peaceful determination, a look of resilience unlike any that he had ever seen before. He could feel the strength of the force within her, it seemed to rise up like a wave against him. The girl grit her teeth tight in determination and twisted free of his hold.

Kylo turned round to follow her, swinging the lightsaber as he went. She lunged at him and he blocked it, sparks flying as the tip of their weapons connected. He blocked again against the unyielding torrent of her blows as she landed hit after hit against his lightsaber, battling with renewed vigour. She forced the tip of his lightsaber down towards the ground, leaving him open as she lunged at him. The hit split his cape horizontally, almost halving it. The tip of her lightsaber sliced across his leg and he fell onto it in the snow beneath him. She held back, seeming to wait as he struggled to his feet. He was in pain. His side hurt, his arm hurt and now his leg. He was quickly losing his ability to fight. He swung out at her and she stepped back to avoid it.

She struck out, the saber piercing him squarely in his left shoulder. He staggered backwards, clutching his side, a painful cry escaping him. As he fell ungainly backwards she approached him, holding the lightsaber steady. She raised the weapon again and as he raised his to block it, he realised with a sinking feeling that he had left himself open from the waist down. A cry of determination left her as their lightsabers rebounded against each other and she landed a kick directly into his side.

That one hurt.

He fell backwards, his lightsaber hitting the snow and sending pillars of steam into the air. She stalked around him as he struggled to breathe, gathering what little he had left to climb to his feet. She watched him like some sort of predator, circling her prey. She was untamed power with a fury that threatened to lay waste to him. She was winning. He got to his feet, swinging his lightsaber in one last attempt to defeat her. She blocked him and reached out for his lightsaber as he reached for her own in return. They were locked together, her hand wrapped around his wrist and his hand wrapped around hers. He noticed briefly that his hand seemed to engulf her tiny wrist, before she let out a shriek of sheer willpower as she fought against him.

She forced the tip of his saber into the snow at their feet, pushing against him with all of her might. Kylo may be physically stronger, but he realised with a sinking feeling that he could not overpower this girl who was might personified. He grit his teeth, a sound of desperation passing between them. Pain radiated through his core. His grip on her wrist loosened and she brought her lightsaber down to meet his, cleaving it swiftly from his hand. He was unarmed and hopelessly exposed as she swung the lightsaber directly at his face. He felt the burn as the tip of his grandfather's saber cut into his flesh, slicing him from his chest upwards to his forehead. He collapsed backwards into the snow.

It was over.

She stood above him, her chest rising and falling as she fought to regain her breath. Her teeth were bared as she stared down at him. His avenging angel, come to burn her way through his life. She was might, power and beauty. She was radiant. He looked up at her, unable to do any more than stare at her in awe, this girl who had bested him and lay claim to his soul.

The ground shook beneath them, tearing her gaze away from him. Trees and dirt and rock fell away as a chasm opened up between them, forcing them far apart. It was all that he could do to watch as she tore her eyes away from him, extinguished the lightsaber and escaped into the depths of the forest.

He lay his head back into the snow, shutting his eyes wearily. There was a cracking as very crust of the planet broke apart. It wouldn't be long now before the planet was disintegrated entirely. He was stuck, too weak and in too much pain to move any further. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was how he died. It was no less than he deserved. He shut his eyes, seeing the girl once more through his lids. He hoped that she survived. If he managed to escape he would search through every system in the galaxy. He would explore every planet right down to its last grain of sand for the girl who had escaped him. He would not rest until he saw her face again.

He could see it. The black depths of her eyes staring up at him. His hand on her arm as he brought her before the supreme leader. She would not deny him. She would fall under Kylo's guidance and he would spend countless hours training her. He would teach her about the history of the force and the stories he'd grown up hearing. Stories of the jedi and the sith and one man who had fought to save the woman he loved and in her death had become the most notorious force-wielder in history. He would watch her grow and flourish under his command, and protect her with his very soul if needed. She would burn with an immeasurable ferociousness, a wild flame to burn away the shadows in his soul. If only they could both survive to meet again.

He looked up at the stars above him, the embers of the fire floating in the wind, the beam of light as a familiar ship above him engaged its hyper-drive, and smiled.


	2. Awoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first of my 'between the scenes' sections. The fight against the scavenger has scarred Kylo Ren in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote several chapters of this over the last two weeks (I was pretty ill) so the first few chapters are going to be uploaded fairly quickly. I hope you enjoy!

_Kylo opened his eyes. It was dark. He was cold. An icy chill had seeped into his bones and he found himself shivering violently. His body felt heavy, slow. He pulled himself to his feet. He felt as though a heavy weight pressed against his chest; he struggled to breathe. He gripped the branch beside him to steady himself._  
  
_There was pain. So much pain._  
  
_He forced himself to walk, though his legs felt as though they might give up at any moment. He had to find his way out of the forest. Wasn't the planet about to explode? He looked around himself for any signs of destruction, but the forest was silent._  
  
_He couldn't hear anything. For a moment he wondered if he'd gone deaf. No, there was simply nothing to hear. Kylo could feel his heart racing in his chest; hadn't Snoke sent anyone out to look for him? Had he observed Kylo's failure, and given him up as a lost cause?_  
  
_Pain and exhaustion took him over and he slumped, defeated, against a tree. There was nobody else here. Nobody was coming to find him, nobody was looking. He was either going to freeze to death or bleed out. And there was so much blood. It wouldn't be long now._  
  
_He didn't know how long he sat there. It was long enough that the cold seemed to seep into his organs. It was long enough that his head started to feel heavy. It was long enough that he stopped feeling the warmth of the blood which seeped through his gloves, long enough that he couldn't even tell if he was still applying pressure to it. Maybe he was just holding it, holding himself in a poor attempt at a final embrace. He shut his eyes, wondering as he did if he'd have enough strength to open them again._  
  
_There was a light._  
  
_Kylo squinted at it, struggling to open his eyes. It was too bright, after so long in the dark. What was it? He drew his lightsaber with a fumbling, shaking hand, but his fingers were numb. He couldn't feel the button to ignite the weapon. He could only sit there, shivering, as the light approached him._  
  
_There was a shape in the light. No. The shape_ was _the light. It molded into a form, a figure. A girl._ The girl _. Kylo didn't have the energy to move against her as she approached him silently. Her piercing hazel eyes were gentler now. Pitying, he told himself. She'd come to watch him die, to make sure of it. Would it be too much if he asked her to kill him herself, and end his pain sooner?_  
  
_The girl did not draw her weapon. Instead, she knelt down before him in the snow. She didn't seem to mind the cold - unusual, considering she'd spent most of her life under the burning Jakku sun. Her eyes were wide and kind as she extended her hand to him, wordlessly asking him to let himself be rescued. Her lips parted and she spoke._  
  
_"Please_ ".

Kylo ren jerked awake, hissing as the movement stung his side. He clutched his wound, steadying himself, trying to slow each racing breath. He surveyed his quarters, his eyes searching for the figure from his dream. He was alone. He ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as he realised that the dream had left him drenched with sweat. Or maybe he was simply dying from infection. Somehow the later seemed to be the preferred option.

He threw off the thin, damp sheet that had served as a duvet for the night, struggling to his feet. The movement must have alerted the medical droids. The doors to his quarters opened with a hiss as two droids spun into the room, their beeping breaking through the silence. One of the droids grabbed hold of his arm, checking his pulse.

“Get off!” he hissed. He pushed one of them away. In response, the steel arm that had emerged from one of the ports promptly smacked him across the knuckles. He withdrew his hand quickly, shaking off the sudden pain.

“OUT!” he yelled. He pushed out with the force, sending one of the droids hurtling into the closed doors of his quarters, the second one chasing after the first with concerned, high-pitched beeps. The doors opened slowly and closed again as the two robots made their hasty escape.

He walked over to the bathroom, squinting at the harsh white light which flickered on at his presence. His skin felt stretched, closing over the wounds he had just added to his collection. He turned on the tap, letting the icy water run across his hands before using them to wipe some of the sweat from his face. Removing his hands from his face, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror.

He looked a mess.

His skin was shallower than it had been the day before. His eyes were set inside dark purple rings. He looked haunted, he realised. Here, alone in his quarters, his mask of defiance - the facadè of a fierce, unwavering warrior – had slipped from his focus. He hated this face.

He felt the slow ache in his body which came from his sudden leave from the bed. It was made worse by his wounds. His smaller ones seemed to be healing as expected – a healthy supply of bacta had seen to that - but he noticed that the wounds on his shoulder and leg seemed to ache more than was expected of them. He couldn't fathom why. He wore a black compression bandage tight around his waist, and wondered if it was keeping his insides from faling onto the floor. It certainly felt as though it was. The wound had been given to him by his godfather not even a day before, and it seemed that it would be with him for some time though it's pain had reduced immensely since the events on star-killer base.

In the forest.

His eyes were drawn to the scar across his face. The scar ran from below his collarbone, up his neck and across his face and eye before coming to an end above his brow. It was a wonder the attack hadn't cost him a portion of his sight. It was too deep to be healed without interference. He'd had to resort to a bacta dressing across the deepest section. His hand felt drawn to the wound. He wanted to run a fingertip along it's length, feel the scar that had come to represent his failure, his weakness...

_The girl_.

She had been at the forefront of his mind, even when he'd first woken to find himself strapped to a cot in the medical bay and force-chocking a nearby officer. She hadn't left him since, but last night she had seemed to overwhelm him. In just a little under a day she had been in his head constantly, in small segments of her memory that he'd glimpsed during the questioning, in images of places from his past and places he did not recognise. When he'd woken up in the medical bay he could've sworn that he could feel her presence in the room. Whenever he saw the image of her face she seemed to simply stare him down, her expressions sometimes hateful, sometimes defiant, sometimes neither of the two.

He pressed his forehead against the cold, smooth surface of he mirror, his eyes open and unblinking. How was he supposed to focus when every time he shut his eyes he saw the face of the girl who had bested him in battle, and left with more than just her victory? He felt himself changed. He felt disconnected, as though he were drifting in space, out in the galaxy somewhere. It surely wasn't going to do wonders for his training.

He ran his hand through his hair, uncomfortable with the sheen of sweat that covered it. He would freshen up, he decided, before facing the day's activities. It wasn't as though he was going to get much sleep anyway.


	3. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooner or later, Kylo Ren must face up to the consequences of his failings. These consequences include the wrath of his master; Supreme Leader Snoke.

It was midday when the announcement came. Midday looked very much like midnight in Kylo's quarters. There were no windows, and the only lights in the room were harsh, bright, clinical. Kylo was seated cross-legged at the bottom of his bed, palms flat on the thin fabric and his eyes closed in concentration. He was meditating, trying to drive what power he had into healing his body. It wasn't working. The computer terminal built into the wall beeped into life. Kylo winced as the sudden sound broke his already-fragile concentration.

“Sir, I have an update for you regarding the resistance, as you asked”. It was one of Hux's pawns; Kylo hadn't bothered to note his name. He responded to the pawn, his eyes still closed in concentration.

“Continue”. The pawn took a second to reply, Kylo could sense his hesitation through the intercom.

“Sir, they've taken out one of our dreadnoughts”. Kylo Ren sighed.

“And how did they manage that?”

“One of their X-wing pilots took out the surface canons, Sir. Their bombing fleet did the rest – but the attack cost the resistance their entire bombing fleet, we destroyed them all”.

“The X-wing pilot?” Kylo didn't need to ask who the pilot was. That much had been obvious when he'd peered into the pilot's mind, in the interrogation room. It seemed so long ago, and yet it really wasn't that long ago at all.

“The pilot escaped, Sir. The remainder of the resistance escaped with them”.

_Good._

Kylo could feel Snoke's summons ever since he'd regained consciousness and found himself on the Supremacy. He would have to face the supreme leader sooner or later and Hux's failure would be a welcome distraction. Thinking of Hux ignited the anger that simmered away in the pit of Kylo's stomach; it had ever since Hux had dragged him off the star-killer base. He doubted that Hux would let him forget it.

“Continue to keep me informed” he replied to the pawn. The pawn took the dismissal eagerly and the intercom ceased it's incessant blinking. Kylo got to his feet, stretching out his limbs. He may as well face Snoke now. Better now – when he was distracted – than later, when all his fury would be focused on him. Like a magnifying glass hovered over an ant.

Kylo picked up his helmet as he left the room, slipping it over his head to cover his face. He had found himself needing the helmet more after his defeat in the forest. It brought comfort; not having his thoughts written plainly across his face. He needed it now.

_Her_ face was sewn into the inside of his eyelids as he traced the familiar path to Snoke's throne room. He saw her with each blink of his eyes. He kept his eyes fixed on the elevator doors as they closed in front of him, thinking desperately of nothing with every beat of his racing heart. It was steady now, as the doors slid open and he stepped across the threshold.

Snoke's throne room was the colour of blood, yet it still managed to leave Kylo cold. Snoke sat on the throne opposite the elevator doors, on the other side of the bridge.

He wasn't alone.

Hux stood before him, arms crossed behind his back. Around the throne room Snoke's praetorian guards stood, dressed in red and holding their weapons. Kylo swallowed thickly, keeping his mind entirely blank as he approached. Snoke was laughing. It wasn't exactly a sound that inspired confidence.

“Tied on a string indeed, General Hux. Well done” Snoke said, as Hux turned slightly to see who had arrived. Seeing that it was just Kylo, he turned back. “The resistance will soon be in our grasp”.

“Thank you, supreme leader” Hux replied. He turned and headed to the elevator, smirking at Kylo as he passed. Kylo Ren fought to keep his emotions reigned in; he certainly hadn't expected to walk in on Snoke congratulating Hux. It didn't bode well for him. He dropped to one knee on the floor in front of Snoke, as far away as he could manage without still being on the bridge.

“And you wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power” Snoke addressed Kylo. “A cur's weakness, properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool”. Kylo did not reply. Snoke was watching him, surveying him for weakness. He was determined not to show him any.

“How's your wound?” Snoke asked. His tone was not one of concern.

“It's nothing”. _Which one?_ Kylo wanted to ask, but he fought the question from his mind, least Snoke catch a glimpse of it. Snoke glowered at him. Now he had ascertained that his apprentice was physically able, he was sure to be punished for his mistakes. Snoke stood up from his throne, towering over him.

“The mighty Kylo Ren” he chastised, descending from the throne too loom even further over him.

“When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see; raw, untamed power. And beneath it, something truly special”. Snoke extended a hand, gesturing to him. Kylo realised he was staring and quickly fixed his eyes back on the floor. It didn't help that the floor was reflective.

“The potential of your bloodline” Snoke explained, leaning over Kylo, his voice almost a growl. “A new Vader”.The words reverberated around his skull. He tried not to let Snoke see that they hurt. Snoke drew himself up to his full, imposing height. Kylo had always been a tall child – gangly, he'd always thought – and that had only increased as he got older. Still, the supreme leader stood taller than him by at least a foot. Kneeling before him like this, it wasn't difficult to feel small.

“Now I fear I was mistaken”. The comment pierced through his skin, each word an icy arrow, chilling his core. Mistaken. He had lost his master's confidence. Mistaken. A new Darth Vader. _Mistaken._ The pain drew his eyes from the floor. He stared back into the face of his master.

“I've given everything I have to you. To the dark side” he stated, and he had. Not that he'd had much to give. Memories flashed before his eyes before he could stop himself. Stealing his mother's necklace and hiding it under his pillow – so he'd have something of her that wouldn't leave him. Staring up at the sky for a ship which never seemed to come home. The cold, uninviting stare of his uncle. _You're too powerful. You need control._ No, he hadn't had much to give. What he had, he'd gave to Snoke willingly, trusting that – even if nobody else did – Snoke at least believed in him.

He was starting to wonder if he ever had.

Snoke's mouth twisted in disgust and Kylo Ren hurriedly reassert his thoughts.

“Take that ridiculous thing off” he growled. Kylo tried his best to rearrange his face, least it reflect his feelings. He raised his hands to his head, pulling off the mask that had been his crutch, his comfort as his emotions had fought within him. He kept his eyes carefully lowered.

“Yes” he heard Snoke hiss. “There it is. You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo”. Solo. He pushed violently against the image of his father that threatened to crash over him, meeting Snoke's eyes with venom.

“I killed Han Solo” he seethed. It did nothing to sway Snoke. He turned his back on him, like so many before him.

“When the moment came, I didn't hesitate-”

“And look at you!” Snoke sneered, turning back to him. “The deed split your spirit to the bone!” Kylo lowered his eyes once more, fighting the memory with venom. Not here. He thought. No weakness. Snoke's mouth twisted in anger.

“You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You failed!”

_Not her._

Kylo seethed, baring his teeth in anger as he got to his feet, the boiling pit in his stomach finally overcoming him. What he was going to do about it, he didn't know; not that it mattered. Lightning shot from Snoke's hand, bouncing from the floor and hitting him squarely in the chest. The force of it sent him backwards. He hit the floor as the praetorian guards readied their weapons, preparing for Kylo's response.

Kylo froze, eyeing the guards. He knew that he was powerful, but he wasn't that powerful.

“Skywalker lives!” spat Snoke. Kylo sat upright.

“The seed of the Jedi order lives!” Snoke continued, stalking back to his chair as the guards returned to their stance.

“As long as he does, hope lives within the galaxy”. Kylo climbed to his feet. No. He couldn't do it. Not yet, at least.

“I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you're no Vader. You're just a child. In a mask”. Kylo knew that the purpose of Snoke's remark was to hurt him. Knowing that did not stop it from hurting. No Vader. Unbalanced. Failed. His father's heart. Even after he had plunged his lightsaber directly through his father's heart. Snoke was no different from his father. Or his mother. Or his uncle, or anyone else for that matter. Kylo felt crushed under the weight of their exceptions, he had all of his life. His weakness turned them from him, his weakness was what had made them give up on him. His weakness... and their own.

And now his weakness was personified. This girl, so similar to him and yet his opposite. He had seen it briefly in her mind when he'd found her on Takodana, and again when he'd had a more thorough look on the base. Pain. Abandoned. And yet she gave it light and life and fire where he brought nothing but cold and darkness. He was a closed box, viciously protecting himself from harm. She was an open wound, bright, pulsing, vulnerable, and yet she was strong and he was not.

It mattered not. He'd allowed himself to look too deeply. She'd crawled inside his soul and taken route there, like a cancer she had spread within him, made him weak, made him hesitate. This small, plucky girl had brought down his defences, displaying his weakness clearly for Snoke to see. She was quickly becoming his downfall, and she wasn't even doing anything.

He had to carve her from him. He could not be strong while her heart still beat next to his own.

He stared down wordlessly at his mask. It was a design that had been taken from his grandfather. It's purpose was to inspire fear. It could not fulfil its purpose while its master remained weak behind it.

He shoved it away from him, with venom, burying it into the lit wall of the elevator as he ran away from the throne room, from Snoke. Over and over and over again, sparks flying as the metal crumbled around his hand. It was weak, just like he was. He would not wear it again, not until his strength had returned and he was worthy of the legacy.

Not until he'd wiped every member of the resistance from the face of the galaxy.

The elevator doors opened and two officers of the first order snapped to attention. Kylo steeled himself for battle.

“Prepare my ship” he spat, leaving shards of glass, metal and what remained of his mask on the elevator floor.

 


	4. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The net is closing around the resistance. Kylo Ren races to the front line, but weapons are now locked onto the face from his past that he cherished most of all.

The Supremacy dropped out of light speed, looming directly behind the resistance ships. The resistance strengthened their shields in response. The First Order was already firing against the ships, their shots bouncing harmlessly off the shields. The resistance were caught hopelessly off-guard; the battle would not last long. The larger First Order ships held back, covering the three small ships that shot into the battle.

Kylo Ren was seated in his Tie Silencer, his heart racing. This was what he needed; a chance to fly once more. Flying felt like freedom to him; it was like stretching out a muscle he hadn't used in a long time. It was a chance to utilise the skills he'd developed as a boy, and a chance to crush what remained of the resistance while he did so. He pressed the comm, addressing the two tie fighters at his side, their leader once more.

“Follow my lead” he commanded, jetting off towards the resistance ships. The tie fighters followed him in earnest. The resistance pilots would be scrambling to their X-wings. He could almost taste their panic. Kylo steered over the propulsion system of one of the vessels. He fired a shot and it exploded beneath him. His next target was the larger of the group of ships; the one likely to hold the most X-wings. He spun his Silencer, firing at the ship as he did. It felt good to fly once more, he'd had so little chances of late. He was pleased that he hadn't lost the skill.

The opposing ship's landing bay was down a tunnel in the ship. He shot down the tunnel, towards the area where the X-wings were no doubt scrambling. He fired two shots into the landing bay and pulled out as the landing bay took the hit. The X-wings would not be flying today, nor any day in the future. He spun the Silencer around, flanked by his tie fighters as he lapped its propulsion system for another attack. He skimmed the body of the resistance ship as he flew, revelling in the familiar taste of adrenaline that coursed through his veins.

_There._

He felt her presence; it was as familiar to him as her voice. General Leia Organa – his mother – was aboard the ship. He swivelled the Silencer around to face the bridge as his weapons system tried to lock onto its target. How long had it been since he'd seen his mother's face? Not since she'd sent him to his uncle, to the Jedi academy. It rose around him as his thumb hovered over the trigger. His mother's face, eyes so similar to his own as she'd scolded him softly – his father laughing in the background – and declared that a blaster was an improper replacement for a toaster. The familiar scent of her perfume as she hugged him in the early hours of the morning. Her voice, softened with love as she whispered goodnight and he'd pretended to be asleep. She'd known, she'd always known. His mother had been absent so often from his life, but he couldn't forget that his moments with her had been happy ones.

His control panel beeped, indicating that it had locked on to the bridge. One press of the trigger and his mother would be dead. The mother who had chased away the monsters under his bed when he was five, who'd sat up with him through the night when he was ill. The mother who had told him stories of her time with the rebellion and of two men who had been just a little too short to be stormtroopers. He swallowed thickly. One trigger. One moment. Could he do it? Was he strong enough?

He lifted his thumb from the trigger.

The tie fighters that flanked him fired their weapons into the bridge. They made contact and the bridge exploded. It was over. The glitchy blue hologram of general Hux appeared at his screen.

“Ren, the resistance has pulled out of range. We can't cover you at this distance, return to the fleet”. He grit his teeth in anger, pulling away from the battle and returning to the fleet which had murdered his mother. His hesitation had been for nothing.

He reached out for her with the force, but where her presence had been, there was silence.


	5. Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren faces the aftermath of his attack on the resistance, unaware of a visit that will soon question his understanding of the force, and it's intentions for him and his adversary.

Kylo Ren stalked through the corridors of the Supremacy with venom. It was only when he was in his quarters once more, alone and unwatched, that he ignited his lightsaber. He slashed it down across the control panel, again and again, trying viciously to expel the weakness that threatened to overflow. His mother's presence in the force was gone. She was dead.

He slumped to the ground, fighting back against the tears. Anger was better than this. Hate was better than this. He tried desperately to hate her. It was to no avail. She was gone, and he may as well have pushed the trigger himself.

It wasn't as though he hadn't known that she had to die. He just hadn't expected it so soon. He hadn't expected to be close enough to feel her presence flicker out. If he'd imagined it at all, he had been far, far away. Her death would come to him as an announcement from Snoke or Hux, one to which he would nod curtly before he moved on with his life.

He held his hands against his face, feeling the scar burn beneath his fingers. It was time for his dressing to be removed. He wondered briefly where the girl was. She wasn't aboard the ships, Kylo was certain that he would have known if she was. She was probably off somewhere in the depths of space, searching for Luke Skywalker. His uncle. He wondered if Luke had been able to sense her death.

He didn't know how long he sat there, on the floor of his quarters, mourning his mother. It seemed like days, but perhaps had been only hours. He allowed himself this; this and no more. This time to grieve. Eventually though, things had to be attended to. There were people who would notice – though probably quite enjoy – his absence. He climbed to his feet, wiping the sorrow from his eyes and leaving his pain behind him.

The first thing he did was walk to the Medical Bay. It was time to remove this ridiculous bandage. If he was being vain, the scar would most likely be advantageous, especially considering that he had destroyed his helmet. He sat down and allowed the medical droid to begin removing the bacta dressing. It was painful, but the pain was a welcome distraction from the sound of the blood thundering past his ears and whatever feeling it was that knotted his stomach tight.

What _was_ that feeling? He was off-balance, as though someone was watching him. Was it paranoia? A product of the grief he had allowed himself? He reached within himself, searching, and found nothing. No... this wasn't a wayward emotion. This was something else. This was the force.

He felt it, like a deep vibration through his bones, practically audible. It was a demanding presence, determined to be noticed, to be called into existence. It was a string tying him to the galaxy, pulling him softly along. And at the other end of the string...

He felt it, like a deep vibration through his bones. It was practically audible, demanding to be noticed, to be called into existence. It was the string tying him softly to the galaxy, pulling him softly along. And at the other end of the string...

_Her._

His eyes were wide in shock, caught off-guard. She was here. He could sense it, even if he couldn't see her. But how? She was here, as real and tangible as though she'd just walked into the medical bay, as though he'd turned around and realised she'd been sitting there all along. It was the force. It was connecting them. But how?

He didn't have time to wonder. He sensed, rather than saw, as she grabbed a blaster at her side and fired it directly into Kylo's chest. He reacted instinctively, jolting with the expected hit. No pain followed. She had fired a direct hit into him, but he was unharmed. He gasped with the shock, clutching the arms of the chair for support. He could still sense her. She was still here. He rose to his feet, his eyes searching for her, reaching out through the force. He felt her turn, felt her run. He wasn't going to let her escape this time. He took off after her, chasing the echo of her presence. He slid into the corridor outside the medical bay. A droid took off down the corridor. He could feel her, she was close. He turned, searching. Standing in front of him, as clear and as solid as if she'd been there for real...

_The girl._

A bright, early morning sun was reflected off her face. She seemed paler than she'd been when they first met. The last few days spent away from the harsh Jakku sun was turning her skin a soft creamy colour. Her hair was pulled back tight, in the same three buns she'd wore on the base. She looked different; she'd changed the clothes that she'd worn before in favour for a lower cut, white top, a stony grey sleeveless jacket and grey wraps around her arms. She wore it well.

He drank in the sight of her, as though, in being given water, he'd only just realised that he was dying of thirst. Questions raced through his mind, but there was one important thing that he scrambled to remember. He raised his hand to her, reaching for her through the force.

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me” he commanded. It was worth a shot.

Or... not, judging by the expression on her face. It clearly hadn't worked. Kylo lowered his hand, embarrassed at his obvious failure. His mind tricks clearly weren't going to work on her. So why had she come?

“You're not doing this” he realised. “The effort would kill you”. She had been as unwittingly pulled along as he had, connected through the will of the force. But why?

She glowered at him, perhaps now realising that he hadn't summoned her to him after all. He looked away, checking the corridor for any first order members. He would look bizarre, as though he were talking to air. The corridor was empty but for them. She looked so real... where was she?

“Can you see my surroundings?” he wondered aloud. She ignored his question.

“You're gonna _pay_ for what you did” she seethed, rage and hatred clear on her face. The death of his father was still fresh for both of them. He might have been hurt if there wasn't more pressing matters to consider.

“I can't see yours” he continued. “Just you”. And what a sight she was. The shock of seeing her had stifled his rage from the day before. His promise to cut her out of him seemed foolish now. The force was bringing them together. He couldn't fathom what for. Was it his grief that had connected him? Had he – with his incessant nightmares, dreams, visions and images of the girl – unwittingly called out to her?

“No” he murmured. “This is something else”. He doubted he could have done this, no matter how much his mind tormented him. It was the force, it had to be. The girl turned to look at something behind her, fearfully turning back to him, as though he was seeing something that he shouldn't. Kylo looked to where she'd been staring but he couldn't see anyone. That didn't mean that there was no one there.

“Luke” he guessed.

She vanished as quickly as she'd appeared, leaving just the cold, empty corridor before him. He stared at the spot where she'd stood, as though she might reappear at any moment, vaguely aware of how strange it might look to any passing member of the first order. He stalked back to the medical bay in a daze.

He was connected to the girl. Force-bonded. He'd read about it before, in the ancient texts. This was different to what he'd studied. This wasn't the bond of a parent to their child, of blood, not the indefinite intertwining bond of family. As much as he'd resisted, he had shared that bond with his mother. It had allowed him to sense her presence when she was near, as it had before the tie fighters had fired on the bridge. It did not allow him to see her, to hold conversations with her.

He lowered himself back into the chair numbly, allowing the droid to resume its work. His mind raced. He had never met the girl prior to the events on Takodana and star-killer base. And yet, in just a few short days their minds had bridged, like two pieces of the same puzzle.

He tried not to wonder if the sight of her meant that their bond was stronger than any he'd read about, stronger than the bond he had shared with his mother. He tried not to wonder if the bridge would open again. He tried not to wonder what it meant, what the force might have in store for him.

He _tried_.

Kylo resisted the temptation to blame himself in some way. To blame his weakness, his grief, his... _whatever it was_ , that brought the girl to him in his dreams, his visions, in shadows in the corner of his eyes. Just like his mother and father, when the time came the girl would have to die. Hopefully, she'd bring Luke with her, and Kylo would get his chance to rid the world of the Jedi completely.

It sounded hollow in his head, even as he thought it.

 


	6. Researching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo searches through his records in an attempt to understand what links him to the mysterious force-sensitive girl.

His bacta dressing removed from his scar, he returned hurriedly to his quarters. He went to his books, sitting on a set of shelves next to a dusty calligraphy set. They were more academic diaries than they were reading material; a collection of his lessons as a Jedi student. They were covered in a thick layer of dust. Snoke had asked him specifically not to abandon his old teachings for the power of the dark side, but to utilise the light in bringing power to the dark. Kylo had grudgingly agreed, and now he was glad that he had.

He pulled the first one from it's place, flicking through the pages. Had he learned anything about force bonds? He dropped the first book onto the desk and reached for the next, flicking through its pages quickly.

“ _Jedi masters, in their death, can communicate with other force-sensitives through the power of the force. This was witnessed by master Luke himself when the deceased Jedi known as Obi Wan Kenobi (Luke calls him Ben, apparently I'm named after him – find out more?) guided him in his fight with the Sith Lord, Darth Vader”._

He flicked further through his records, pulling book after book from the shelf. None of them contained relevant information. If Luke had known anything about force-bonds, he hadn't told his nephew. He ran a gloved hand through his hair. So much had happened recently, his emotions were unstable. He was as unbalanced as Snoke had said he was. In less than a day he'd been berated and belittled by his master, he'd witnessed – no, played a part in – his mother's death and he'd discovered an unexplainable connection between him and the Girl. It was no wonder that his mind was unfocused.

_It could have been anyone else_ , he thought. _Anyone else in the galaxy_. The force had chosen to bond him with her. A tiny, half-feral, scavenger girl who wanted him dead. She hadn't even hesitated; the second she'd realised that he was there she'd reached for her blaster. He was lucky that the force-bond didn't account for weapons, or Hux would have found him laying dead in the medical bay with a hole through his chest. That would certainly have made Hux smile, even if nothing else in this galaxy could.

He left the books sitting on his desk. He needed out of the confines of his quarters; somewhere where his mind wouldn't drift back to the scavenger girl, his departed mother or the father he'd murdered.

 


	7. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo seeks out the quiet of a little-used area of the Supremacy, but his peace is interrupted by more than his thoughts.

Kylo Ren stood overlooking one of the landing bays – at this time filled with a mix of AT-ATs, AT-M6s and a variety of other land-based weaponry. All work on the machines was automated, so there was no need for anyone to be here. It was a space of quiet contemplation for him, outside his quarters.

His contemplation was short-lived. The same uneasy feeling rose in him as it had back at the medical bay; like unseen eyes were watching him. The bond was opening again, he realised, his heart racing in response. He felt her presence behind him, and turned to face her.

She'd pulled a dark poncho over her clothes. Maybe it was raining where she was? She looked a little damp. Wherever she was, it was getting dark. The brightness had faded from her face, replaced with shadows.

“Why is the force connecting us?” The question slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, though he doubted that she would have the answer. He had left his room to search for peace, somewhere his mind would not wander, but the questions he had still followed him. Maybe it would take both of them, maybe they would need to work it out together?

“You and I-”

“Murderous snake!” she seethed. Ah. So she still hated him then.

“You're too late” she snarled. “You lost, I found Skywalker”. She was still hung up on that? Their previous confrontation seemed so far away. Did she not wonder why the force was bringing them together? Kylo paused, bringing himself back to the present.

“Did he tell you what happened?” he asked. Rey blinked in surprise. Maybe she hadn't expected him to ask. Maybe she'd expected him to snarl back, to threaten her and her new teacher, to promise her pain and a slow death. She clearly hadn't expected him to ask so calmly. At least, he hoped he looked calm. Here was something she didn't know, something that her dear master would not have told her. He wondered if her opinion of Luke would change when she learned the truth. He wondered if her opinion of _him_ would change.

“The night I destroyed his temple”. He asked. “Did he tell you why?”

“I know everything I need to know about you” she shot back. She was glaring at him, seething with hate. It was a look that was familiar to him. He saw it on her face every time he closed his eyes.

“You do?” Kylo asked, searching her face. Seeing it again – not inside his head as it had been, but clear and real on the face of the girl right in front of him – gave him a hollow ache in his chest, one he was unfamiliar with.

“Ah, you do” he murmured. “You have that look in your eyes, from the forest. When you called me a monster”. He couldn't explain why it caused him pain, only that it did.

“You are a monster” she countered. He stepped closer to her, even as the pain flowed freely through his bones. She had responded as he'd expected her to respond. She saw him as everyone else saw him – as he saw himself. He felt a knot in his stomach.

“Yes I am” he said. The girl stared back at him. Kylo couldn't take his eyes from her.

She broke the stare, the connection breaking with it. Kylo felt something touch his face. It was something soft, something cold. He wiped his hand across his face, examining what remained on his glove.

It was water.

He squeezed his hand tight over the droplets that had run onto his palm. _Well, that was interesting._ Wherever she was, it was raining, and the rain had managed to come through the connection. But if it was rain why had he felt it only in the last few seconds? He was fairly sure it had come from the side too, or even from below. Could she be near the ocean? Kylo recalled the ocean, the island that he had seen in her mind. Maybe he'd had the answer to her whereabouts all along.

He walked back to his quarters as quickly and calmly as he could.

He skidded to a stop in front of his computer terminal – newly repaired – and keyed the controls. He was looking for a planet in the outer-rims of the galaxy. He doubted that his uncle had been hiding out in plain view. The planet had to have a breathable atmosphere and a temperature suitable for life, and at least one large body of water. If it was a wave that he had felt then the planet also had to have at least one moon. The day had to begin not soon before their first force-connection, and it had to still be daytime now – though with night not far off. He hurriedly keyed in the information, his heart racing. Would he find her?

The results came back empty. Kylo sighed, running his hand through his hair. It was a long shot. Knowing his uncle, Luke had probably hidden himself away in the unknown regions. Of course there would be no information available. He berated himself for thinking he could actually find her, that their shared connection might expose her whereabouts to him. The force wasn't trying to help him find her. What it _was_ trying to do, he still couldn't yet say.

Their second connection had given him more questions. The water had come through, so why not the shot from her blaster? Could it be that the force was allowing things to pass across, but not if they sought to use it for harm, like his lousy attempt at mind control or her attempt on his life with the blaster? For a moment, he wondered if it would have been possible to feel _her_ , if he could pull her into his environment through their shared connection. Or send himself through to hers. Could their bridged minds be that strong?

He thought about feeling her. The only contact they'd had was during their fight in the forest. She'd landed a well-placed kick directly into the wound in his side. He'd grabbed her wrist during the fight, and she'd grabbed his. Her wrist had been small, his hand had been able to wrap around it completely, with ease. He'd considered touching her in the interrogation room, taking off his glove, using the physical connection to push deeper into her mind...

He'd only had a few seconds to realise that their bond was opening. A second or two at most to prepare himself for the 'visit'. He realised – with a growing sense of horror – that it could open _anywhere. At any time._ He could be in a meeting with Hux or Snoke. He could be in front of the entire First Order. He could be asleep, or in the _fresher_. The thought stopped him in his tracks. He couldn't very well go without doing mundane things like that. What if their connection lasted weeks? Months? What if it never went away? He ran a hand through his hair, thinking. He was going to have to get used to doing things in the dark. And also in pants.

 


	8. A Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With so many questions racing through his head, Kylo decides to test the connection between himself and Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little chapter I added in. I wrote this on my phone on the way to work (I'm a veterinary nurse), so I apologise for any spelling mistakes!

Night drifted into morning. Kylo had not slept. How could he sleep, when the connection between them could open at any point? Instead, he took to his books. He gave them a more thorough read. They still provided no answers.

He had questions though. One or two in particular. By the time morning had come, he'd made up his mind on how to test his theories.  
  
It was as if the force agreed with him. As if it was _eager_ , to have him examine the connection in more detail. He'd been slumped groggily in his chair, his eyes flickering shut, when she'd appeared to him again.  
  
The sight of her was like a kick of adrenalin to his gut.  
  
She was curled up - on his bed of all places - a faded grey blanket draped across her. The blanket had once belonged to him, many years ago. It brought with it a flood of memories. Sleeping peacefully under the iron grate of the falcon floor, the hum of the machinery a personal lullaby, as his father and godfather found themself captured. Again. Being small enough to sit atop his godfather's shoulders, blanket over his head and his tiny fingers curled around Chewie's hair. Building a den out of the blanket and the many books he'd been determined to bring with him.   
  
His father had turned back for home, upon finding out that his suitcase entirely consisted of books and was subsequently empty of clothes. He'd let him keep his books though, after a heated protest with his son that had seen Kylo hold his breath until he'd passed out in the cockpit. The sight the blanket - and the girl curled up tightly beneath it - brought a lump to Kylo's throat.  
  
As if seeming to sense his presence, the girl's eyelids fluttered open. She was waking up. Kylo swallowed thickly. With a new day before them, what would she say to him this time?  
"Go away" she said flatly.  
  
Well, it was better than nothing. Better than _monster_. Kylo folded his arms.  
"I can't. I have as much control over this as you do".  
"How long have you been standing there?"  
" A few seconds". The girl groaned, drawing his blanket up to cover her head completely. It wasn't going to stop him.  
  
"Can you see my surroundings?" He asked.  
"No" she said firmly, her voice muffled under the blanket.  
"Where are you?" he asked her. She threw the blanket off her, sitting upright to look at him indignantly.  
"Do you think I'm _really_  that stupid?"  
  
He walked over to his bookshelf, picking up the ink pot that rested there.  
"Of course not" he replied. "I mean, you were laying down, so you must be on a horizontal surface. From where I am, you appear to be sitting on my bed".  
  
She got quickly to her feet.  
  
He ignored her embarrassment, filing the responce away for later examination. There were more pressing matters.  
"Catch" he said, tossing her the ink pot he'd picked up from  the shelf. She caught it instinctively, her eyes wide with surprise.  
"Interesting" he murmured. The girl looked at it as though he'd thrown her a live snake. Or someone's toe.  
"Why did you throw this at me?" She asked him.  
  
"Do you not see what this means?" He asked her. "I just passed you something from my location. You can see it now, it's physically there, in your hand".  
"Is this an ink pot? Do you write with this?"  
"It's called calligraphy" he said dismissively. "The force is letting us pass objects between ourselves, yet your attempt to shoot me had no affect. And when I tried to get you to bring Luke to me, it didn't work either".  
  
If the girl was interested in his deductions, she didn't show it. She held the pot out for him, as if she expected to  drop it into his hand. He waved it away.  
"Keep it" he said. "If it goes with you when the connection breaks it will prove my theory". She eyed him quizzically, but pocketed the pot all the same.  
"Theory?" She asked.  
  
"The force is connecting us" he explained. "I don't know how, or why. It's letting us pass physical objects between us, but any attempt by one of us to harm the other is prevented. It doesn't want us to fight". The girl's expression grew hard.

"If it didn't want us to fight, maybe it should have told you not to murder your father".

He didn't have enough time to reply - not that he knew what he'd say. The connection broke and the girl vanished. The ink pot vanished with her. Kylo let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. He was right.

Theoretically, he could pass anything to her. As long as he didn't intend it to be harmful. Maybe the next thing he passed her could contain a tracker - would the force allow that? He sat shakily back down in his chair, his mind racing.


	9. Flustered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren waits for the connection between his mind and Rey's to open once more. Her next visit takes him by surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added in a new chapter between this one and the last. I'm so excited to see that people like where I'm taking these characters. I'm already starting to write the events following TLJ, even as I'm powering through the scenes we all know and adding a few of my own. As always, suggestions and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

He waited, expectantly. Twice in one day and then only once this morning? Maybe the connection was waning. He felt nothing of her through the force. It made him complacent. It was more than half a day since he'd last seen her; the day was almost over when Kylo chanced a trip to the fresher. He showered in the dark. The last thing he wanted was a force connection while he was here – okay, maybe not the _last_ thing. He was sure he could think of worse if given time, but an embarrassing midnight meeting was fairly high on the list. He dressed in the dark too, leaving his shirt off to let the dressing around his waist properly dry. He didn't feel it until he walked back into the main room of his quarters, the now-familiar feeling of the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. _Of course. Of course it's happening right now._ He turned his back to where he sensed the girl's presence, if only to delay his embarrassment for a moment. It was too late to put a shirt on. He sensed her pause whatever she was doing, and hoped she hadn't looked up.

“I'd rather not do this now” she stated. She sounded annoyed, but her voice was empty of the venom it had been the day before. Maybe she'd given up yelling at him; her anger wasn't doing much good.

“Yeah” he replied flatly. “Me too”. He hoped embarrassing meetings like this weren't going to become a regular occurrence.

“Why did you hate-” her voice seemed to catch in her throat. Her last two words were almost breathless. “-Your father...”

What was that? He turned in surprise, momentarily forgetting that he was shirtless. What was  _that_? She was faced towards him, but her eyes were fixed firmly on the floor. She _was..._ embarrassed? Her eyes flickered towards him and away again. It was dark wherever she was, but she looked almost flustered.

“Do you have something – a c _owl_ or something you could put on?” Kylo was frozen still. This – her voice, her expression, her eyes as she just would _not_ look at him – was something he had never seen before. Why was she embarrassed? Wasn't that what he was supposed to be feeling? She was fully clothed and presentable, he was the one left awkward and vulnerable. When she received no response from him she sighed, shaking her head slightly, before her eyes returned to him again, fixed firmly on his face.

“Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer!” She spoke quicker than she had before. Something was happening to the girl. He didn't quite know what, but he felt himself pulled in her direction. He walked over to her, as close as he dared.

“Your father loved you, he gave a damn about you!” she continued, pointing at him aggressively.

“I didn't hate him” Kylo heard the words before he felt them leave his lips.

“Then why?” Her mouth was twisted in sorrow.

“Why what?” He asked her softly. Tears were falling slowly down her face. She was hurting.

“Why what?” he asked again. “Say it”. It was as if he were asking her to confirm it, that he had actually done it.

“Why did you... Why did you kill him?” She sobbed. And he had. He'd killed him. “I don't understand”.

“Your parents threw you away like garbage”.

“They didn't!” She hissed at him.

“They did. But you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness. You're looking for them everywhere; in Han Solo, now in Skywalker”. He was right; he could tell by the hurt, the sadness in her eyes. Was it because of the force bond, that he hurt too? There were more pressing questions he had.

“Did he tell you what happened that night?” he asked again.

“Yes” She bit back.

“No.”

“He sensed my power. As he senses yours”. He could almost see it again. The hut. The bed. The green light from his uncle's saber.

“And he feared it”. He explained it to her, how he had awoken to find the uncle that he loved, the master that he trusted, standing over his bed with his lightsaber in hand, readying himself to end Kylo's life. Kylo had reacted instinctively, drawing his own lightsaber to protect himself. The shock was clear on the girl's face. She looked to the ground – was she doubting her master? - and back up to him, shaking her head.

“Liar” she said. She didn't sound angry. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. After all, he'd never lied to her before. He stepped closer once more.

“Let the past die” he told her. “Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you were meant to be”. He searched her face, wondering what she had made of his lesson.

Then she was gone.

He sat at his desk, holding his head in his hands. The calm he'd kept carefully in place in front of her was gone. Why had he told her that? Did he think now that she knew the truth, she'd leave Luke? Join the first order at his side? No, that was very unlikely. He knew why he'd told her, and it bothered him. He'd told her the truth, because she deserved to know it. She'd deserved to know what kind of man she was placing her trust in. And – although he couldn't figure out why – she deserved to know why he'd killed his father. She deserved to know why he'd made the decisions that he had, why he'd caused her the pain and the loss that he had. She deserved to know why.

He ran a hand through his hair, remembering her breathless voice. What had that been about? He obviously didn't think... but if not, then why? What other explanation was there? Maybe she had been training, he decided. She'd worn herself out training. That was it. Of course.

Would she ask Luke about the night at the academy? Would he tell her the truth? What would her reaction be to know that her master had lied, and Kylo had been honest after all? Would he get to find out? He shook his head. He definitely wouldn't be getting sleep tonight. He needed a shirt.

He finished dressing, and waited. He would do well to meditate while he was waiting, but he couldn't concentrate. His nerves were drawn tight like strings. She might not even ask Luke. She'd have to explain their connection first – and Kylo was certain she hadn't told him. It wasn't like he'd told Snoke, and he doubted that Luke would be pleased to learn that his new student had his estranged nephew on telepathic speed-dial.

When he couldn't sit still any more, he paced. Would Luke be angry at her? Would he try to hurt her, as he had done to Kylo? His stomach knotted tightly at the thought. She hadn't called him anything monstrous during their last connection. Maybe her anger was wearing thin. He sat down, and stood up again almost immediately. That wasn't going to work, he decided.

What _had_ that change in her voice been, though? She'd certainly been surprised, at least as surprised as he was. She hadn't been able to look at him at first, and when she had, her eyes had never wandered from his. It was almost as if she was forcing herself to meet his gaze. Or was he just thinking that because he'd been so embarrassed? Kylo hesitated, pausing in his pacing. That wasn't it. He hadn't been embarrassed. He was sure he was supposed to be – and he had been, at least at the beginning. Then her voice had caught in her throat and in his surprise he'd found that he could turn to face her after all.

He pictured her face. Not with that strange expression that he hadn't been able to identify, but the one she'd worn when she'd asked him why he hated his father. Why he'd killed him. She was crying. He had felt the same sadness, the same pain. It hurt his heart and made him feel like he couldn't breathe. But it wasn't because he'd killed his father – he'd wrestled that grief into some corner of his mind; he was too strong to let that come to the fore again.

 


	10. A Touch of Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is visited once more by Rey through the connection of their minds, but this time what Rey has to say might surprise him.

This time the connection wasn't a growing realisation that she was there. It was a tap on his shoulder, like she was _asking_ for the connection to be opened. She was calling out to him, somewhere, pulling on the thread that connected them, through the power of the force. He hurriedly straightened his face, and let the connection open.

The first thing he noticed was that she was wet. No, she was soaked through. She may as well have been swimming. The second thing he noticed was that she was crying. Not like she had been when he'd seen her last – that had been wilful, she'd been determined to hold back as much as she could. This was something more, something deeper. She didn't look surprised to see him. She really had called on him, then.

“Can we talk?” she mewled. He sat down.

“What happened?” he murmured. He received no sarcastic comment, no spiteful retort. She sat down too. From his perspective, she looked like she was sitting on a chair in front of him. He wondered what – if anything – he was sitting on, where she was. Maybe he was hovering somewhere awkwardly in the air. She covered her shoulders with a blanket, shivering slightly. There was a fire between them; he could see it reflected on her face. Her hair was wet, most of it pulled from it's buns. It fell against her shoulders. He realised with a shock, he'd never seen her like this. Not just with her hair down, but open, vulnerable. The heart she'd kept bright and pulsing, like an open wound, was turned on him now.

“There's this dark place... where I am” she began. “I sensed it, calling me. It had something to show me”. She paused as though she expected him to berate her for going there, but nothing was going to make him stop her talking.

“I found it's entrance, in the floor of the cliff. I tried to get a closer look... and something pulled me in. There was water. When I climbed out I saw something. I can't explain it. Like... a mirror I guess. When I touched it...” She trailed off, her eyes distant.

“Have you ever been in a place that is... just made up of mirrors? And your reflection is repeated, over and over again?” He nodded wordlessly, to show that he understood.

“It was like that... but each reflection... was _me._ I mean, really me, not just my reflection. I was every single one of them, stretched out for what seemed like forever. Any movement one of me made, the one in front would make a second later, then the one in front of that and on and on. I should've felt trapped or panicked, but I didn't. This didn't go on forever, I knew it was leading somewhere. That at the end, it would show me what I came to see”. She shook her head wordlessly and Kylo waited for her to continue. She'd walked up to the end of the mirror, where the surface was frosted and she had no more reflections. She'd placed her hand on the surface, asking to see her parents. Of course she had. She'd begged it. There was a moment when she'd thought that it might, when to her shock the glass had cleared and she'd nothing but her own face.

“I thought I'd find answers here” she murmured. “I was wrong” She'd cried; she hadn't said so, and Kylo hadn't asked. He didn't need to.

“I've never felt so alone” she whispered. Her jacket was discarded, her hair draped over her shoulders, drying in the heat of the fire that Kylo couldn't feel. The fire's light was reflected across her skin, in her eyes as she met his gaze, waiting to see what he would say. He had only one thing to say to her, this lost and lonely girl.

“You're not alone” he murmured. She met his gaze. Each time she looked at him, he felt as though her hazel eyes reached through to his soul. Tonight, they didn't pierce their way through, They passed through him softly, gently. Tonight, he let them. He wondered if he'd ever resist them again.

“Neither are you” she whispered back.

They sat together in silence. Kylo took a moment to collect his muddled thoughts. She'd been spiteful and hissing at him not a few hours ago. Now they sat together as equals. Now she had come to him, sought him out. She'd looked for comfort, and she'd gone to him. He'd never imagined becoming anyone's comfort, but he found that he had, as he'd found comfort for himself in this beautiful, lost girl.

He wondered why, the first time he'd met her, it hadn't been immediately ushered to the front of his mind, to claim it's place in his thoughts forever. He'd noticed, of course he had, but it had been a mere distraction; he'd never truly let it be known in his mind.

She was _beautiful._

“It isn't too late” she whispered. Kylo didn't – couldn't – reply. Was she really asking him that? Wordlessly, she raised her hand. He could see the light from the fire reflecting from it. She had a freckle, just at the point where her thumb met the rest of her hand. She was offering her hand to him, asking him to take it. He looked down at it, and back into her eyes. They were already glazing over with hurt, she was preparing herself for the refusal, the rejection. Did she really think he would? Did she really think he could?

He needed it just as much as she did. More than that; he _wanted_ it. He wanted to touch her skin. He wanted to feel her warmth against him. Would her hands be soft, or would they be calloused? Calloused, he guessed, from her long years under the harsh Jakku sun, pulling apart bits of metal to sell for what small amount of food they were worth. He didn't mind calloused. Not in the slightest. Wordlessly, he pulled off his glove. Her expression relaxed slightly, now that she didn't think she'd be refused. He reached for her, slowly, softly. Would they even be able to feel the other's touch? What if they passed right through each other, like ghosts? Somehow, he didn't think they would.

Her hand was tiny next to his, just as her wrist had been. He didn't mind that, not if it meant he could make her feel safe, feel secure. He knew that he would try. Gently, he brought the tips of his fingers to meet her own.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard her gasp. Or was it him? He could _feel_ her, as if she was really in the room. It was as though the slight touch of her hand were the only thing tethering him to the world, as his vision clouded.

_It was bright. Too bright, after the darkness in his quarters. Where was he? He looked around. He could see nothing but sand. Endless sand, and a person. No, he squinted. It wasn't human, but he did recognise him. Not from his mind, but from another's. The girl's, he realised. This man was Unkar Plutt, the junk boss from Jakku._

_If he was on Jakku... He spun around, ignoring the Crolute as he approached. He heard a sound, the roar of a propulsion system as a ship landed. It wasn't one he recognised. The door opened and a man stepped out onto the sand. He was small and thin, his hair unwashed and his skin yellowed and cracking. He shook a little as he walked, as though he had some kind of tremor. Kylo could see a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead. The man smiled at the Crolute, his teeth yellowed._

“ _Unkar, buddy, it's good to see you again!” He coughed. It sounded sickly and thick. Kylo noticed that the junk boss did not approach very close._

_“What have you got for me this time?” He snarled at the man. The man held up a hand._

“ _Oh, just wait a minute! I've got something good for you this time!” He ran back into the ship. A minute or two passed before he returned, this time with a woman as frail and sickly as he was. Time had not been kind to these two. They carried a droid between them. It was ancient and rusting, Kylo could see from this far that it was clearly unusable. The junk boss must have thought so too. He surveyed it as close as he dared._

“ _One bottle”._

_The look that the couple gave the Crolute was enough for Kylo to work out what was in the bottle they had been promised. These people were addicts._

“ _Unkar. Unkar, buddy. You can't... One bottle isn't going to do the both of us, not all the way home and back again. We need more... We'll bring back better his time! Just think of this as... an advance”. Kylo could tell that the man's pleading wasn't going to work. He must have either, because he turned to his wife, and back again._

“ _How about... you give us four bottles now, and I throw in an afternoon with my lady? I'll even let you use the ship!” The junk boss scoffed._

“ _One bottle” he said. The couple looked between each other desperately._

_Kylo barely noticed. Everything faded into the background around him. The junk boss, the alcoholics begging for their fix, even the harsh Jakku sun. There was only one thing he could see, and it was staring back at him from inside the ship._

_And suddenly he knew._

_His heart squeezed tight as a wave of anger washed over him. Of course, that was why he was here. That was why he was watching this pathetic but vital exchange. The girl in the ship was tiny, probably a symptom of malnutrition and her alcoholic parents. Her skin was tanned by the harsh sun, her hair pulled back into the same three buns that she'd worn when he'd first met her. Even her clothes were similar, and he realised with anger that it was deliberate. She'd deliberately not changed her hair, kept the change of her clothes to a minimum. She'd wanted to be recognised. How old was she? She couldn't have been older than eight or nine._

_He wasn't the only person to notice her. He heard a notice from Unkar Plutt. The parents turned to the ship, looking up at her._

“ _Get back inside! I told you not to come out here!” the mother shouted. The girl did as she was told. The junk boss turned back to the couple._

“ _What about the girl?” He said. The couple looked at each other wordlessly._

“ _What about the girl?” The father replied._

“ _I'll pay for her. Fifty bottles”. Kylo could see the light reflected in the couple's eyes. It made him nauseous. The mother turned back to look at the junk boss._

“ _She's our daughter” she hissed. “We're not selling you our daughter!” The junk boss raised what wisps of an eyebrow he had left._

“ _Sixty bottles. No more”._

“ _We'll take it!” The couple exclaimed. The mother turned to walk back into the ship. She was shaking too, with the same tremors as her partner. It was part of the withdrawal, Kylo realised._

_The mother returned with the girl. She looked up at the junk boss fearfully. The woman bent down to her daughter, her face empty of tears._

“ _Stay here, I'll come back for you. I promise”. She kissed the girl's head, her eyes sliding away, towards the junk boss. The Crolute nodded, wrapping a hand around the girl's arm. He handed the mother a piece of paper._

“ _Take this to the Niima outpost. You'll get your payment there”. The couple smiled at each other. They turned away from their daughter without a second glance. The girl screamed as they left, pulling desperately away from the junk boss._

_“NO!” she cried out. “Come back!” The junk boss pulled on her arm, hard._

“ _Quiet girl” was all he said. The girl looked at him, and back up into the sky as her parents flew away._

“ _NO!” she screamed._

_It was too much for Kylo. Rage boiled over, almost to the point of pain in his mind. He dropped to his knees in front of the girl, though she probably couldn't see him. She was still staring at the sky, pulling against the junk boss's firm grip. Her parents would never come back for her, he knew. He couldn't explain it. Maybe it was the force. Whatever it was, he knew for certain that they were dead. Long, long ago. They would never come back for their girl._

_But he could._

_He reached for the little girl's hand, holding it delicately in his own. She felt real. She was warm, her hands not yet calloused by years of slavery. She tore her eyes away from the sky, and Kylo realised with a jolt, that she could see him. How did one comfort a child that had been abandoned?_

“I'll _come back, sweetheart” he whispered to her. “I promise”._

The vision ended with a jolt. It was the girl from the present-day who's hand he felt now. It was the stone-hut from her world that he saw, not the darkness of his own quarters. He saw the fire, he felt it's warmth. It was her eyes he looked back in to. Where once there had been pain and sadness, now there was something else. It might have been hope.

Kylo swallowed thickly. He'd meant what he had said, to the child that this girl had been. He would find her again, wherever in the galaxy she was. He opened his mouth – to tell her what he'd seen, what he'd felt, to tell her that it wasn't just that she _wasn't_ alone, but she didn't have to be alone _ever_ again, if that was what she wanted. He was going to tell her -

“STOP!”

He had just enough time to react to the shout, to turn and see his uncle standing before them, hand raised, his eyes a mixture of anger and fear. The hut exploded around them and Kylo Ren's hand was ripped from hers. The connection severed with it, and Kylo was left in the darkness.

 


	11. The Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren's connection with Rey has been exposed. He can only wait as Rey makes a decision on what path her future takes.

Kylo got to his feet, his heart racing. _Luke._ What would he do to her, now that he'd seen them together? Would he hurt her? Would he make her leave? Where would she go? He paced, back and forth, back and forth, going over what had happened in his mind.

She wasn't just left on Jakku. It wasn't to keep her safe. Her family were never coming back. She'd been sold like cattle, all to fuel two alcoholic parents who hadn't deserved her. Just as Luke didn't deserve her. No – it wasn't just that. He wasn't _worthy_. None of them were. Not her parents, not Luke, not the traitor or the resistance, not even the first order or Snoke. Not a single one of them. He grit his teeth, his hands flexing into fists. One of his gloves was still laying on the floor.

_He_ could do it, he realised. At least he knew, how truly special she was. At least he knew how hard he would have to try. That already made him better. Better than Luke, who would teach her to be afraid of her powers. Better than the traitor, who could only teach her that she was delicate. Better than the resistance or the first order, who would only teach her that she was an asset, like the number of weapons they had or the ships in their arsenal. Better than Snoke, who would make her a puppet. Better than her parents, who could only teach her loss.

Where they taught her to fear her powers, he could teach her to trust them. Where they taught her that she was delicate, he could teach her that she was strong. Where they taught her that she was an asset, he could teach her that she was a gift. Where they made her a puppet, he could make her a queen. Where they taught her loss, he could teach her what it was to _never_ lose, to _always_ have someone to fall back on. She'd spent her life searching for the family that had abandoned her. He could teach her that she would _never_ be abandoned again.

Kylo realised that he was seething. His chest was rising and falling visibly; he was gasping for breath. He would need to learn to control his temper, if he was ever going to convince her. The next time they spoke, he would try. This time he wouldn't fail. This time he would tell her what kind of people her parents had been, what kind of life they had given her, and he would tell her what kind of life he would give her, if she'd let him.

He was going to give her a home, somewhere she could truly belong, if that was what she wanted. It didn't matter what it cost, Kylo's mind was set.

It wasn't long before she appeared to him again. He'd known, somehow, that she would. She was even more soaked than before, as though she'd been out in the rain since they'd last spoken. Her eyes were bright, but this time they were free of tears. She was sitting – on one of his desk chairs again, from his perspective. At the sight of her he sat down on the other chair.

“What happened?” he asked. “Did he hurt you?” The girl shook her head.

“It's true” she whispered. “Luke tried to kill you”. He swallowed thickly.

“Where are you?” he asked her.

“I'm on the falcon. Luke... he sent me away”.

“Where will you go?” Kylo's heart was racing feverishly. Her eyes drifted around the room, no doubt she was seeing his father's ship. He wondered if Chewie was nearby; he doubted that the Wookie would part with the ship, even after the death of his friend. When the girl's eyes fixed themselves on him again, they were firm. Her mind was made.

“Give me your coordinates” she said. He gave them, immediately. She stood up, her eyes bright and burning once more.

“I'll see you soon” she promised, as the connection faded.

Kylo got to his feet once more. The ground seemed to sway beneath him. She was coming _here._ To him. What did she expect from him? How was he supposed to proceed? He was frozen, rooted to the spot. She was coming _here_. She would soon stand before him, no longer separated by distance, no longer only seen, heard and touched through the link between their minds. She was coming _here._

Panic quickly set in. He began to pace again.

There were certain things that would be expected of him. Taking her to Snoke was one of those things. What would Snoke do? Would he hurt her? No... She was an asset to him, a source of great power. It wouldn't take much to convince him to let her stay, if she was willing. Instead of one apprentice, he would have two.

She would not be Snoke's apprentice. He dismissed the thought as soon as it had entered his head. Snoke was cruel. He could be unkind. He would punish her for her failings; Kylo would not. He would take control of her teachings. He would see that the First Order became her home instead of her prison.

He needed to be ready. How soon would she be there? He would have a bit of time, surely. Luke was most likely hidden somewhere in the uncharted regions. It would take some time for her to travel, even at light speed. Even in the falcon.

He needed sleep. When had he last slept? It had to be two days, at least. He ran a hand through his hair, his mind racing. The lack of sleep was probably getting to him. That was why he felt as though he was shaking, as if the world was rocking slowly around him. He needed to lay down. He keyed the control panel, turning on the intercom system.

“Sir? Your orders?”

“We're expecting a visitor. I want to be the first to know when the ship is picked up on our scanners”.

“Sir?”

“The ship, a new ship on our scanners. You are to inform me immediately”.

“Yes Sir”.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, his hands planted on his knees, steadying himself. _She was coming here._ The girl with the piercing eyes and the fire in her soul. Left in the wake of their last connection, Kylo Ren felt almost warm.

 


	12. Cynosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren prepares to face the girl who has become the focal point in his life. His is unaware Rey is readying herself for the biggest fight she has ever had; the battle for his soul.

Sleep did not find Kylo. The tiredness had seeped into his bones, yet still he could not sleep. It didn't help that even as he lay on the bed his heart raced quick enough that he could hear the blood thundering past his ears. It didn't help that every time he closed his eyes he saw her face. He couldn't help but wonder where she was. How long would it be before she stood before him? What would he say to her when he did see her?

What would Snoke say? Snoke was the only obstacle in Kylo's plan. Getting the girl to agree to stay would be of no use if Snoke decided he didn't have use for her. Kylo would need to convince Snoke to keep her. Her fate rested on the will of his superior – a fact which bothered him deeply. If Snoke peered into Kylo's mind he would see the desperation behind Kylo's request. He would see it as a weakness, and use her to hurt him; of that he was certain.

Kylo would need to obscure the depths of his thoughts, if he was going to keep Snoke from sensing his true intent. He had no intention of handing the girl to Snoke. He'd have to, of course, to appease the supreme leader. Ultimately though, he would request that the girl fall under his command instead of Snoke's. The first order be damned, Kylo wanted her here with _him_ , not as another asset for another spiteful military regime. She would never be their pawn. He wouldn't _let them_.

The intercom beeped shrilly, breaking Kylo's reverie.

“Sir? Our scanners have picked up an escape pod. We're bringing it aboard now”. Kylo's heart lurched. He leapt to his feet, grabbing the glove that he'd forgotten to pick up from the floor. He needed to be on that landing bay. He needed to see her... He _needed_ to brush his hair! Hair carefully placed back under control, he walked through the corridors of the ship as quickly as he could without attracting too much suspicion. Fortunately, his regular stalks through the corridor were well known to the Supremacy's staff, and storm-troopers here had a habit of leaping out of his way. His mind was a blur, his heart hammering against his chest, quick enough to leave him dizzy. He had to be there when they brought her in. He had to get there before Hux took control of the situation and send her away for interrogation. He skidded into the landing bay just as the escape pod came into view.

Kylo recognised it immediately. It was the escape pod from the falcon. His father had locked him in there once, when Kylo was six and had tried to single-handedly commandeer the falcon while his father and godfather were visiting a nearby cantina. That he'd managed to fly it perfectly for a total of twelve minutes didn't seem to matter after he'd crashed it firmly into a sand dune. Kylo's answer to his imprisonment had been to fall asleep in the pod.

He shook the memory from his mind and refocused his attention, snapping at two nearby storm-troopers.

“You two, follow me. You'll need your stuncuffs”. He kept his face as neutral as he could as he neared the pod, even as his heart raced in his chest. This would be the tricky part; doing what was expected of him. The storm-troopers were waiting for her; the might of the First Order standing to attention as the escape pod landed. Kylo took a deep breath to steady himself. He may have practically ran to the landing bay from his quarters, but he needn't _look_ as though he had. The smoke cleared as the pod de-pressurised.

She was _here._

She'd kept her hair the same as when he'd last seen her. The lowest of her three buns was undone, left to flow loosely over her shoulders. Her clothes were very similar to what she'd worn the first time they'd met, but now a mix of dark colours where before they'd been a dusty, sand-blasted white. She might have looked like some sleeping damsel from stories he'd read as a child, if not for her lightsaber – somehow, since the forest, it had ceased to be _his_ lightsaber – that she held in her hands. She was no damsel; she was the bright, burning knight, here and ready for battle.

Kylo was determined not to give her one.

Her eyes were wide and fixed on him. He kept his face as carefully composed as he could and stepped aside to allow the storm-troopers to restrain her – as was expected of him. Let the First Order think that he viewed her as any other prisoner. He would do his duty, and present her to the supreme leader. He would also demand that she stay, and by her own free will at that. He would demand that he oversee her training, if she wished.

She would stay, he was certain. He held the information she desired most. Once he explained to her the truth of who her parents were, that she had no heritage to live up to and no expectations placed over her head like a blade on an executioner's table. He would explain that her worth came not from her ancestry, but from the courage that burned like an inferno within her heart. She would see herself as she truly was; the divine maker of her own legacy, not a pawn to someone else's. She would join him, because she would want to, because she knew that the only one who – upon finding out the truth of her parentage – would see her as something divine, something beautiful, was the man who had already given her claim over his soul.

He marched her into the elevator, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the door. Snoke would be able to sense his thoughts once he entered the throne room. He would need to be careful of his mind. The girl was looking up at the ceiling, her back to him as she watched the floors speed past them with dizzying quickness.

“You don't have to do this” she murmured softly. “I feel the conflict in you; it's tearing you apart”. Her head was turned slightly to look at him. He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the door. He'd expected this, of course. She would try to sway him to the light, unaware that the light could be just as vicious as the dark.

“Ben”. It was so soft, so gentle that for a moment he thought he'd imagined it. It ripped his eyes from the door. There was nowhere else for him to look; nothing seemed to exist outside the edges of her eyes. It was the first time she'd ever called him by his name, and she'd called him _Ben._ He found himself drawn to the way her lips had framed his name, the name he hadn't heard since he'd stood before his father. The girl had turned to face him now, a look of hope shining in her eyes.

“When we touched hands, I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear”. She walked over to him, in this enclosed space. Had she even been this close when they were fighting? She was an open book, hopeful and vibrant and daring to be read. She wanted this, wanted to share with him what she'd discovered.

“You will not bow before Snoke” she said, her eyes dropping to look at – _what_? - before they returned to his.

“You'll turn” she murmured, leaning in closer to him still, to whisper once more. “I'll help you. I saw it”.

Seeing her through their connection had been like seeing her in a dilute form, he realised. In person, she was far more potent, and much more beautiful. He studied her face, committing her expression to memory.

“I saw something too” he replied softly. “And because of what I saw I know that when the moment comes, you'll be the one to turn”. Her eyes were locked onto his, confused, questioning. “You'll stand with me”. Her face was closer now. If he'd wanted to, he could count each of her eyelashes.

“Rey” he whispered, realising that it was the first time for both of them; he had never spoke her name either. Somehow it was already familiar to him, as though it was supposed to be there, as though it would be there many times in the future. He liked the way it tasted, the way it _felt_ , to say her name. Now, he would tell her the truth. Now, he would make her see. He would ask her to come home.

“I saw who your parents are” he told her. She blinked in surprise, but the elevator was slowing down now. They parted, putting distance between them. Kylo begrudged the distance between them. As if he were standing close to a bright star, her nearness brought him warmth. Her distance left him cold.

The elevator doors opened, revealing the red room. On the throne in the centre of the room, across the other side of the bridge, sat the supreme leader, Snoke. Kylo took Rey – she would never again be _the girl_ in his eyes – by the small of her back as he led her into the room.

 


	13. The Throne Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey faces the Supreme Leader, unaware that her presence here will change the First Order - change Kylo Ren - forever.

The elevator doors opened, revealing the red room. On the throne in the centre of the room, across the other side of the bridge, sat the supreme leader, Snoke. Kylo took Rey – she would never again be _the girl_ in his eyes – by the small of her back as he led her into the room.

His mind needed to be blank. His mind needed to _not_ dwell on the fact that his hand felt more comfortable there than it reasonably should.

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice” Snoke called, his voice carrying across the room. It was a far cry from the last time they'd spoken, when Snoke had struck him for his instability. Kylo knelt on one knee before Snoke, Rey's inactivated lightsaber in hand, as was expected of him. It meant leaving Rey to advance further into the room by herself.

“My faith in you is restored” Snoke remarked. His eyes wandered over Rey in a way that turned Kylo's insides cold.

“Young Rey”. He held his hands out in what he must have presumed to be warmth. It wasn't. “Welcome”. The force seemed to hum and vibrate alarmingly around them, as Rey's restraints deactivated and fell to the floor. She shook her wrists in response.

“Come closer, child” Snoke gestured to her. She ignored him, staying put. “So much strength”. Snoke seemed to be enjoying himself. He gestured to Kylo, who kept his eyes firmly on the floor.

“Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger his equal in the light would rise”. The lightsaber was snatched from his hand, shooting over to Snoke, who caught it in his hand.

“Skywalker, I assumed” he continued with a laugh. “Wrongly”. He placed the lightsaber onto the arm rest beside him, nodding to Rey.

“Closer, I said”.

The hum of the force seemed to increase in pitch as the supreme leader pulled Rey towards him. It vibrated in the pit of Kylo's stomach, calling out to him in warning. He kept his mind carefully blank.

“You underestimate Skywalker” It was Rey's voice. Bright and hopeful. “And Ben Solo” she said through gritted teeth. The strength in her belief, her voice calling out his name once more, it shook him. He blinked away the surprise, focusing on the floor's reflections. He could nearly see his face in it, and wondered is his expression betrayed the war going on inside his mind.

“And me” Rey continued. “It will be your downfall”.

“Oh” Snoke gasped. “Have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice? Is that why you came?” He gasped again, and laughed.

“Young fool. It was I who bridged your minds”.

The shock reverberated around Kylo's core. He couldn't help it, his eyes left the floor as he looked wordlessly at Snoke. It was not the force. It never had been. Only a manipulation of it, never it's true intention.

“I stuck Ren's conflicted soul – I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you, and you were not wise enough to resist the bait”.

Could a person's world come crashing down without them ever uttering a sound? Kylo was convinced that it could. The supreme leader's words sounded hollow in his ears, replaced by louder, more violent ones. _Not the force,_ they called. _Not worthy, never worthy_. Their connection had never been the work of the force, it was no divine intervention. Not luck, and certainly not fate. The only thing special between them had been his weakness. It wasn't a happy coincidence that they'd been forced together, it was his failure. It had always been. He'd been dangled in front of her, used and manipulated. Kylo's insides boiled, threatening to to overflow. He fought viciously to keep his face neutral, to keep his thoughts balanced. He could only watch as Snoke pulled Rey further towards him, wrapping a large, wrinkled hand around her face.

“And how” he hissed “you will give me Skywalker. And then I will kill you with the cruellest stroke”.

The worlds settled in Kylo's mind. He heard them ricochet through his body, felt the pain as they spun off his insides. He'd done this to her. In his foolishness, he'd brought her to Snoke, believing that he would let Kylo keep her, like the time he'd come stumbling home when he was seven, covered in mud and proudly showing his horrified mother the ewok that he'd decided to keep as a pet. It promptly ransacked the kitchen and tried to crack a sleeping Chewbacca over the head with a wooden spoon.

His foolishness didn't seem to have diminished at all in the last twelve years, and now Rey would pay for it with her life.

“No”. Her voice seemed to agree with him. It was small, but as firm and as fierce as ever.

“Yes” Snoke hissed in reply. He pushed her viciously away from him. Kylo could only look on as she hovered above him, small sounds of pain escaping her. Snoke raised his arm to her, the force humming and buzzing around him.

“Give me _everything_ ” he hissed.

Rey screamed. Kylo lowered his eyes to the floor, trying desperately to cut himself off from the connection. He'd seen so many interrogations, heard so many screams. He should be able to remain calm. He should be able to stay focused. It shouldn't hurt like this.

But it was hurting. Her pain was his own, he could feel it in his very bones, in his soul. She burned, and he burned with her. The pain was immense, more than he had ever experienced. It shook him to his core. He could see the little girl she had once been, stranded on Jakku, looking up at the stars. Not for her parents - not that she'd remembered that. No, she was waiting for the man in black, the one who had taken her hand, called her sweetheart and made her a promise. He could see her, growing up on Jakku, sitting atop her AT-AT which had been her temporary home, and then a permanent one as she'd realised that nobody was coming for her. Scratching lines into the rusted shell, wearing her hair the same so that if her family happened to return, they would recognise her no matter how much time passed. Her family would never come back. They'd broken their promise.

He wouldn't.

He realised, with a shock to his core, that the connection wasn't open. He couldn't feel what she felt. He couldn't feel what she was feeling, what she was going through. And yet he burned with her. Why? It didn't feel like a trick of Snoke's. If he'd been trying to punish him, he would have said so. He would have gloated about it. This was something else, something more. Something beyond Snoke, beyond the force. He realised, even as he tried to bury it within himself, tried to protect it from Snoke's prying eyes,

It was the same reason that his nights had been sleepless, plagued by restless dreams and a girl whose face he couldn't remove from his head. It was the same reason that his scar burned when she was in his mind. It was the same reason that he'd been pulled to the sight of her as a child, to comfort and calm her as best he could. It was the same reason that he had offered to be her teacher in the midst of their battle in the forest, the same reason that he'd been gentle with her in the interrogation room and felt obliged to remove his helmet when she'd made a comment about it – if only to make her a little more comfortable. It was the same thing he'd felt when he'd first melded their minds, a brief flicker against the towering inferno of the present. It was the same reason that he'd taken her back on Takodana, when taking a map from a mere droid had been a far easier option. It shocked him to the core that now, even after everything that had happened to them, between them, he could have been so _stupid_ , to not realise it sooner.

He wasn't feeling her pain through their force-bond. He was in pain because she was in pain, just as he had been when she had reached out to him, when tears had ran down her face and he'd told her that she wasn't alone.

He was in pain because he _loved_ her.

Even as the realisation came to him, he pushed it quietly away, keeping his mind clear and empty. Snoke was distracted. He enjoyed hurting Rey, The thought made Kylo's stomach twist in anger. Not now, he would have to be careful.

Snoke dropped her. Never one to give up, she twisted around to look at him. He kept his mind firmly closed. Snoke was laughing. The sound cut Kylo like a knife. He couldn't help himself, his eyes settled on the supreme leader, waiting, calculating.

“Well, I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise. We will give him and the Jedi order the death he desires. After the rebels are gone we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island”.

Rey shot to her feet, a wave of fury, reaching for the lightsaber which sat on the arm of Snoke's chair. Snoke seemed to be prepared; the lightsaber shot past Rey and back to him, hitting her on the head as it went. She ducked instinctively, but not quick enough.

“Such spunk. Look here now”. With a swipe of his hand Rey was pulled along to the viewer across the room. It was obviously causing her pain. Kylo took a deep, forced breath. It would do better for him to remain invisible for the moment, while he tried to work out what the _hell_ he was supposed to do to stop this. The red screens parted, revealing the battle outside.

“The entire resistance on those transports. Soon they will all be gone. For you, all is lost”.

Rey had decided otherwise.

She reached out to Kylo, his lightsaber shooting from his belt into her hand. He looked up, watching her as she ignited it with fury, readying herself for battle. The red light from the saber cascaded over her skin, in tune with her fiery spirit. It was the first time she'd ever held his lightsaber. The sight was enough to speed Kylo's already-racing heart. With his lightsaber firmly in her hands, she no longer looked like the bright, burning angel from the forest. Here, with the red glow across her skin, she was judgement personified.

The preatorian guards were readying themselves. Snoke held up a hand.

“Oh, and still that fiery spit of hope. You have the spirit of a true Jedi!” Kylo could only watch as Rey charged at Snoke, wielding _his_ weapon. He could only watch as Snoke pushed her through the force, sending her flying only to collapse on the floor. His lightsaber fell from her hand, spinning across the floor to Kylo. He looked down, watched it spinning.

And instantly, he knew.

“And because of that, you must die” Snoke hissed. He brought Rey up to her knees, manipulating her like a doll. Kylo was prepared; of course Snoke would want it to be him. Rey was _his_ weakness, after all. And his strength.

“My worthy apprentice” Snoke addressed him. “Son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader” the mention of his grandfather carried a different weight to it now. It came with a story – wasn't it the same one he'd thought about telling Rey, if she joined him? It was a story of love, loss, and redemption again through that love. How had he not seen it before? His grandfather hadn't been weak in his love. His love had given him the strength to rise up, to strike down his oppressor and save the life he cared for most. Love could be weakness, but also strength.

“Where there was conflict I now sense resolve” Snoke said. “Where there was weakness, strength”. Kylo looked at Rey. He wished he could tell her, what he was about to do. Alas, his mind had to be open, firm, he had to be as determined as her. He focused everything he had on one single idea. _He was going to kill his enemy_.

“Complete your training and fulfil your destiny!”

Kylo reached for the lightsaber, concentrating solely on it. He picked it up; it was still warm. He stood before Rey, the lightsaber firmly in hand. He agreed with Snoke completely, he let him feel that. His next move would indeed complete his training, would indeed fulfil his destiny.

Rey was taking gasps of air, the torture had taken so much out of her. He wondered if she would be ready. She met his eyes, conflict and hope intertwined through her face.

“I know what I have to do” Kylo told her. It was the same thing he'd told his father on the bridge, only this time there wasn't a trace of fear. He stood firm, allowing himself to draw strength from her eyes.

“Ben” she whispered. The name sounded natural on her lips, in her voice. As though she'd said it all her life.

“You think you can turn him?” Snoke laughed. “You pathetic child. I can not be betrayed”. _Snoke is right, I will not turn_. He wasn't doing this for the resistance, or for the first order.

“I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent”. Snoke shut his eyes, Kylo looked into Rey's face. There was no hatred there; he drew strength from that. The hatred seemed to be behind them now. Rather than keep his mind empty, he opened it freely to Snoke. His resolve was unwavering. He would kill his enemy.

“Yes...” Snoke muttered. He brought his lightsaber up slowly, revolving it in his hand, his other hand twisting too. “I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true”. Kylo held his lightsaber directly before Rey's heart, his eyes never leaving hers. All he had to do was turn the lightsaber on, and his enemy would be dead.

“And now... foolish child! He ignites it, and _kills_ his true enemy!”

 


	14. The Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's decision has been made. Now he must face the consequences.

Snoke's words were cut short as Kylo Ren ignited the lightsaber. Not the one in his hand, but the one he had been guiding through the force. The one sitting at Snoke's side, forgotten in his eagerness. The saber pierced him through, slicing the supreme leader in half. Rey dropped to the floor; the control over her body was broken.

He saw her turn around, to look at Snoke. He saw her realise that she had never been his intended target. Snoke looked down wearily at the lightsaber that was buried in his side. With a flick of his wrist Kylo drew the lightsaber towards them. Rey's slight hand reached out, and the lightsaber was home once more. Snoke's body crumpled to the floor like a broken toy, as Rey stood and faced Kylo, her eyes bright and victorious. Kylo ignited his own lightsaber.

The force-bond was like a live wire, electrifying the air between them. Rey was all that he could see, as if she surrounded him, as if she was the very air that he breathed. He was in her mind; he felt her in his own. Both of them, surrounded by the other. Each thought echoed within both of their minds, as if they were two pieces that were now one, singular whole. They didn't have to read each other's thoughts, they thought as one, as they moved in fluid motion, weapons raised to protect the back of the other.

The praetorian guards advanced on them. Both confident in the strength of the other, Kylo and Rey concentrated their fights on what stood before them. Kylo raised his weapon to block the nearest guard as Rey did the same on her side. The strike from the guard sent the tip of his lightsaber into the floor, sparks flying before him. This wasn't going to be easy. These were no ordinary guards; they were specially trained, with weapons and armour designed for use against force-sensitives.

There was no time to worry; they each blocked a flurry of attacks. Kylo ducked as a guard swung for his head while Rey struck out at a guard of her own. She swung at the legs of another guard – they were closer, more densely packed at her side – while he blocked two guards who were lunging for him. The blue sparks of her lightsaber flew past him as he recoiled from a swing. She blocked, sending the guards backwards for fear of being hit, as he rose his saber for yet another attack.

She must have spotted the two guards come for him; one to his front and one to his side. He blocked the guard to his front and felt her reach under his arm, lunging at the guard to his side with her weapon. With one guard down, she left him to deal with the other as more approached from her side. Kylo had his weapon raised, blocking a guard with a spear, before turning it to slice through a second.

He felt her hand, small against his thigh. He didn't need to look for her, he didn't need to ask. He knew instinctively - as well as he knew his own mind - what she wanted. He reacted with that same instinct. They moved fluidly, two sides of the same coin as he sliced through a guard and dropped, pulling her onto his back and giving her the vantage to plant both feet into two oncoming guards.

The guards must have realised that they were no match for them as a whole. They forced them apart, separating them back into their two halves. Kylo slashed at one guard viciously as he tried to block him. His mind was on the battle before him, but he was also vividly aware of the girl on the other side of the room. He felt the strain of her muscles in his arms, felt the taste of her adrenalin in the back of his mouth, felt the gasp of her breath cool his lungs. He could feel her racing heart beat in rhythm next to his own.

Kylo used his saber to pull the guard's weapon to the floor, sparks flying past as he sank an elbow into the guard's helmet. The guard pulled back instinctively, but not quick enough as Kylo grabbed him by the shoulder, aiming a swift kick into a second guard as he sent the first hurtling into him.

Rey was fighting two of her own. Her hair swung round as she spun to block the first guard's staff while leaping out of the way of the second guard's chain. She turned back onto the first as she cut through his chest armour. The second guard's chain shot out at her, wrapping around her lightsaber and sending a white explosion of sparks as he used the weapons to draw her closer to him. Kylo felt his throat tighten as the guard grabbed Rey by the neck, trying to force the chain to pierce through her skin.

Rey ducked out of the hold, slicing through the back of the guard's armour with venom. She pulled her lightsaber from the dead man's back as she span, the guard's chain narrowly missing her second opponent. She took a moment to steady herself as the second man split his weapon in two, forming short, sharp blades. He swung for Rey as she span the lightsaber back at him, a cry of defiance passing her lips.

Kylo pulled his attention back to his own battle as he forced his lightsaber up to block another attack. He saw another guard behind him and brought his and his first opponent's weapons down to block the second. He struggled against their combined strength, both weapons locked against his cross-guard as they forced him backwards. He pushed back, raising his weapon to break their hold on him as he lunged his saber through a third guard's chest. He drew in a raced breath and pulled the guard from his weapon before raising it in a challenge towards the three guards that remained.

His eyes were pulled away from his own battle, to Rey. She battled the lone fighter, blocking one of his weapons but leaving her exposed to the second. The guard lunged, plunging the weapon into her shoulder. Kylo's shoulder flared in searing pain. He was burning with her. He barely noticed his own pain, his eyes transfixed on her, his heart racing. He knew he was getting distracted; he heard the guards move in on him and brought his saber down, concentrating on feeling the movement of the three opponents that surrounded him. He felt the one behind him move first and span to block the chain that flew towards him. He followed the spin round to block the second attack from the front, drawing their locked weapons down and into the guard at his side. He bent back as the weapon wielded by the guard at his front narrowly missed his throat. He reached up, grabbing his opponent's weapon and using it to block the second one's attack. He brought his lightsaber cleanly through the third guard's neck.

Three left to go.

Four, if he counted the one fighting Rey. And he did. The guard was forcing her backwards on the other side of the throne. The guard landed a kick into her leg, knocking her over. Kylo felt the kick, felt the hard, cold surface of the floor against his skin as she leapt once more to her feet and swung for the guard.

Kylo was struggling. The first guard had him locked closely by their weapons. He grimaced and pulled the lightsaber up to slash through him, grabbing the guard's weapon with his free hand as the guard swung for him. He brought the dead man's weapon up to block his next opponent, striking at his weapon with the saber. The guard backed up as Kylo advanced, forcing the man's weapon to the floor with both of his own. The second man lunged for him, using the Praetorian armour – designed to resist anything less than a head-on pierce with a lightsaber – to block Kylo's saber. He slashed at the guard with his second weapon before splitting open the man's throat with the saber as he fell.

Lost in his anger, vividly aware of Rey, the pain in her shoulder and the ache in her lungs, he realised too late that he had left himself open. The remaining guard swung, narrowly missing his neck as Kylo leapt backwards out of his path. His grip on the weapons had been broken; he was unarmed as he jumped back out of the way as the guard aimed a swing at his legs. He needed a weapon quickly. He made a grab for the guard's weapon, trying to force it out of his opponent's hands. The guard spun past him, until he stood behind Kylo and pulled the staff firmly against his throat to cut off his air. Kylo pushed back, but to no avail.

He felt no fear for his own safety, only for Rey as she battled with the second guard. Her saber missed the guard's head and he locked her arm around his own, his weapon perilously close to her skin. Kylo watched helplessly. His heart raced in a thunder past his ears. _Not her._ It seemed to say. _You can't have her._

He could feel Rey's mind whirling against his own, feel her sizing up the situation, looking for an exit. Her grip on the lightsaber was the very thing keeping her arm locked in the guard's grip. She seemed to realise this, dropping the saber and pulling her arm free, only to grab the saber once more. She struck out at the guards legs and once more at his neck, severing his head from his body as he crumpled and vanished off the edge of the platform.

Free at last, her first move was to look for him. He felt her eyes rest on his own and panic flare between their hearts. She cried out for him, her voice shredded through with fear.

“Ben!”

When the thought came to her mind he felt it in his own. She extinguished her lightsaber, throwing it towards him. Her lightsaber, her only weapon; she unarmed herself and left herself vulnerable to save his life. He caught the weapon and ignited it, burying the saber straight through his opponent's head. The grip on his neck loosened as the guard dropped to the floor.

They had won.

 


	15. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their battle with the Praetorian guard finally over, Kylo sees a chance to ask Rey to join him once more. He'll bare his very soul if he must. Will she abandon her friends, when faced with the man who has given her his heart?

Kylo tossed the guard's weapon onto the ground, letting it hit the floor with a metallic clang. He could still taste the adrenalin in the back of his mouth and wondered if it was from him or from Rey. Their minds had seemed to quiet now that the fighting was over; her mind no longer flooded his but stood quietly at his side. He found himself missing her presence in his head. Would it be like that every time they fought together? The fight had taken it out of him. It had taken it out of both of them. It didn't matter anymore. They had won. He had killed Snoke. He was free.

The supreme leader was dead. His throne belonged to Kylo, now. He could take command. He could see it before him; himself and Rey side-by-side, ruling over the first order. They could change it, make it how they desired. They could bring peace, bring order. They could do it, together. Their bond had been a lie, a manipulation by Snoke, but what did that matter? Kylo's heart was his own, and he had given it to Rey. She understood him, knew him as he knew her, as if they were one person and not two. They never needed to feel alone again, now that they had found each other.

Rey looked from him to the viewer. Kylo could see her mind racing. She was choosing a side.

“The fleet!” she cried, rushing over to the viewer. “Order them to stop firing, there's still time to save the fleet!”

Disappointment tasted bitter in Kylo's mouth. Even standing before their great achievement, she was still determined to run back to her friends; away from him. Would she leave him, and break her promise? He stepped up to the throne, his eyes fixed on Snoke's body. He had killed for her, he had saved her. He... He was losing her.

“Ben?” Her voice sounded hollow in his ears.

“It's time to let old things die”. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He had one shot. That would be all he would get. He looked over at her; the tiny, ferocious girl who had possession over his soul.

“Snoke. Skywalker”. He walked over to her, feeling his heart race quicker with every step he took. “The sith. The jedi. Let it all die”. This was without a doubt, the scariest thing he had ever done. To bare his soul to Rey, to give her the power to break it – to break _him_ – and pray that she cared enough about him not to. Kylo wasn't foolish enough to believe that she loved him – she couldn't possibly feel the way he felt, her body seemed too small to contain such an inferno – but if she cared enough, maybe she would give him time. Maybe she would let him do his best, to be someone deserving of her. Maybe with time, she might feel the same.

“Rey”. He felt his breath shake as he held out his hand to her. “I want you to join me”. Her face was unreadable, her eyes fixed on his. Would she accept?

“We can rule together, and bring a new order to the galaxy” he explained. The galaxy would be well cared for under her rule, he knew. She would be kind and caring to the masses, and if they resisted then her determination and bravery would be useful. Not that they would need it; who in this world could possibly resist her? She shook her head.

“Don't do this, Ben” she whispered. “ _Please_. Please don't go this way”.

His heart thumped painfully in his chest, each beat an ache beneath his ribs. She was refusing him, _again._ He could almost feel her slipping through his fingers, lost forever. It made him panic.

“No, no” he whispered. His throat was tightened “You're still HOLDING ON! LET GO!” His cry was partly in anger, but he knew that he was begging. _Please, don't leave me,_ he wanted to beg. _I don't think I can do this without you._ He could almost see his reflection in her eyes, they were shining with tears. She was hurting. They both were.

“Do you want to know the truth about your parents?” It was his final plan, his last resort. He had no more cards to play.

“Or have you always known, and you've just hidden it away?” He brought himself closer to her, suddenly desperate to be back in their force-bond, holding her hand, confident that she would stay, if he asked her. If he was back there, he wouldn't have to deal with the pain in her eyes, or the hurt at knowing he'd put it there.

“You know the truth. Say it” he pleaded. “Say it”. She looked down, no doubt feeling the tear that ran down her cheek. He longed to reach out, to wipe it away, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to touch her, not if it wasn't what she wanted.

Not if she was going to break his heart.

She blinked away the tears, her eyes returning to his. Would she let him explain why he'd forced her to face the truth, why the truth mattered at all?

“The were nobody” she sobbed.

“ They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert”. Even knowing that the bond had been opened by Snoke, somehow he didn't believe that Snoke had fabricated that vision. Something – the force perhaps – had shown him the truth. It wasn't a happy truth, but it was a powerful one.

“You have no place in their story” he explained. “You come from nothing, you're nothing”. She sobbed. She was hurting; he could feel her pain twisted with his own deep in his core. Didn't she see? That was what made her so special. She wasn't burdened by the expectations of the past, of having to live up to powerful ancestors or a prophecy or even family expectations. She was special because she was _herself_ , not because of anyone else. She could have chosen to live out a normal life. She could have been nothing.

“But not to me”.

It was all that he could say. To tell her outright, to confess his love for her, would be too much. He was laying his soul bare and open, like a bright, pulsing wound. He was giving her this, making himself vulnerable to her in a way he had never been. It was all he could do. To confess his love, to bare his soul completely, would destroy him. He was giving her all that he could. He prayed it would be enough.

He stretched his hand out once more.

“Join me” he asked her. Did she not see how much it hurt? She walked around with her heart on her sleeve, but he had been caged within his own soul before she had released him. He had been weak, angry, afraid. He'd lashed out at anyone who came too close. Until her. She was like no other. She'd torn off the bars of his self-imposed prison, she'd given him the courage to be vulnerable, to reach out. He was reaching for her. He stepped closer, as she looked down at his outstretched hand.

“Please” he begged.

He could see her mind racing. He could see longing in her eyes – or was that just wishful thinking? Did she understand? Did she see how much he needed her? She was the last gasp of air to his drowning lungs. She was the blood that raced through his veins. She was the fire in his very soul. His place would only ever be at her side. Did she feel the same?

She reached for him. His heart raced. He tried to quell the hope burning inside his chest, but it would not die. He didn't want it to. She was reaching for _him._ He looked into her eyes, expecting to see the same hope shining back at him.

All he saw was pain.

She was hurting. She was sad. Something was wrong. He felt it suddenly; the pull of the force. Realisation shattered him. It shattered the hope that burned within him. It shattered the air in his chest, shattered the blood racing through his veins. It broke his heart. It tore at his soul.

Her lightsaber was ripped from his hand. He pulled at it, halting it mid-air. She pulled back, both of them reaching for the saber, fighting for their lives. She'd made her decision. She'd chosen her side. She hadn't chosen him.

Rejection was an icy blade through his heart. Betrayal was tears that blurred his eyes, the tight knot in his stomach. He pushed it away; pushed it all away. He couldn't let her win. Defeat would mean his death. She pulled, and he pulled back. The force of their power propelled them both backwards. Neither was wavering. Each of them was the other's perfect equal, matching the other's power exactly. Powerful light and powerful dark. They were perfect.

The lightsaber was shaking under the combination of their strength. Something had to give. Someone had to win. The lightsaber was burning, glowing with their energy. He drew on everything he had, knowing that she was doing the same. The effort was making his muscles ache, his heart race. He was burning. They both were. They were tearing each other apart. Any moment now, one of them would -

There was bright flash, an explosion. The sound pierced Kylo's ears, ricocheted through his body. The last thing he saw was the piercing white light as he felt himself pulled backwards, and everything went dark.

 


	16. A Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes to find the Supremacy crumbling around her, and Ben Solo unconscious and vulnerable. Her next decision could mean the salvation of the galaxy, or it's destruction.

Pain.

That was the first thing she noticed. Her head hurt. Her shoulder hurt. Her muscles ached, as if they'd been overused. She hadn't overused her muscles in so long – she was so used to physical labour, her body was used to being pushed, and never protested.

It was protesting now.

She opened her eyes. The throne room was falling apart, it was on fire. Had their fight really done that? No, there'd been a second explosion. She remembered hearing it, a loud boom that had made her feel as though her head was exploding.

_Ben._

She looked for him, her eyes finding him immediately, as if on instinct. He lay on the ground like a broken toy, on the other side of the room. She struggled to her feet, panic tightening her throat. Luke's lightsaber lay between them. It was useless, broken in two. The crystal in the centre was exposed, cracked in half. She pocketed both pieces.

She dropped to her knees next to him, this boy who had risked everything for her. Then he had betrayed her. They'd betrayed each other. She'd seen him by her side, his eyes shining in the light and a smile on his lips. It had been a lie. All of it.

Not all of it. She pressed two fingers against his neck, hating how relief clutched at her breast when she felt his pulse against her skin. He was alive. She shut her eyes against the wall of tears that threatened to flood her face.

“Ben” she sobbed. She hung her head, rested it against his shoulder. It felt comfortable there, as if they were both shaped to fit each other.

“You were our last hope” she whispered to him. “You were _my_ last hope”. She sobbed, she couldn't help it. She felt the ghost of his hand against hers as he'd held her in the stone hut on Ach-to. When he'd told her that she wasn't alone. When she'd had a vision of the future. _Their_ future. The future of the galaxy.

A reflection of light caught her eye and she walked over to it, picking it up from the floor. It was his lightsaber. It still felt hot, as though the effort of the fight had left it overheated, burned. Maybe that was why he always wore gloves. She balanced it in her hands, looking back at the unconscious boy.

She had a decision to make. She could take him with her. He would stand trial. If Leia was still alive, he might yet survive the charges against him. He would undoubtedly spend the rest of his life imprisoned, too dangerous to be set free.

She could ignite his lightsaber. Stand over him as his uncle had done years ago. She could pierce his chest, put an end to his life and to the threat that he posed to the galaxy. The first order would be left without its force-sensitive leaders, they would be vulnerable to her attack. If she ended his life. She found her feet, walking over to him. She held the lightsaber above him, finger resting on the switch. Her heart raced, as though determined to beat for them both. She held the weapon tighter, her hand shaking.

She couldn't do it.

She dropped to her knees beside him once more, sobbing. She wanted to hold him in her arms until he woke. She wanted to promise him that she wouldn't go, she wouldn't be without him. She wanted to see if he really smiled the way he had in her vision.

She couldn't do that either.

He'd made his choice. There wasn't anything she could do about it. Now they both had to live with the consequences. Rey clipped his saber back onto his belt, wiping the tears from her eyes. She hung her head, pressing her forehead softly against his dark, soft hair. Ben smelled like blood after a fight, like dirt after a rainfall and something darker which set her heart racing. It was comforting. He smelled like home.

“Ben” she whispered. She hoped he didn't wake until she was gone. She hoped he could hear her.

“You're not alone” she sobbed. “There will always be a place for you. With me”. Her fingers found the skin on the back of his hand. He was warm. His skin was soft and smooth.

She tore herself away from him. It was painful, as though she really was tearing them apart. Something inside her chest ached as she stepped away from him, as she ran. As if she was leaving behind a piece of her soul.

 


	17. Moonbeams and Fairytales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of their battle, Ben is knocked unconscious. As Rey slips out of his clutches, he slips into a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long! This week has been HECTIC. This is a very short chapter, but I'll hopefully post another one tomorrow to make up for it! I've been busy working out the next piece of the puzzle - what happens after tlj. That part is well under way. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see that people are enjoying my writing. I would love to know what your predictions are for IX, and what you would like to see happen, so please comment! And as always, constructive criticism is gratefully accepted!

_Ben opened his eyes._

_The Chandrila sun seeped in through the window, bathing the room in a warm rosy glow. Bulabirds chirped and called to each other outside the window, their star-tipped beaks winking in the light. He was warm and comfortable in the room, with the duvet soft against his skin. Here in the quiet of his bedroom, he allowed himself a few moments of peace. Hux would no doubt call on him soon enough, he wanted to enjoy these moments._

_There was a murmur beside him in the bed. The girl turned to him, her hair loose and long around her shoulders. She pulled her slight frame against him, her head resting on his shoulder as it had when they drifted off to sleep; as it had every night since he'd offered her his home, his bed and his heart._

_He tucked his arm around her, pulling her closer against him, running his hand down her arm. She was warm. Warm and incredibly soft. Her eyelashes fluttered as she opened her eyes and looked up at him, her hazel eyes warming in adoration._

“ _Good morning, Ben”._

“ _Good morning, Rey”._

_Her name tasted like honey on his lips. She rested her head against him once more, letting the tips of her fingers dancing a trail across his chest._

“ _Were you staring at me again?” she asked him._

“ _Of course”. His reply earned him one of her smiles. He didn't think he would ever get used to it._

_“We're going to get called on in a minute”._

“ _Hmm”. He buried his nose in her hair, feeling his heart squeeze tightly. Rey smelled like iron and steel, like rust and dirt and flora. She'd been tinkering with the tie-fighters again, and then she must have gone for a wander around the forest. It was a decidedly pleasant smell. It was absolutely fitting for Rey._

_“You know Hux is going to get annoyed if we're late again”._

“ _Hux lives to be annoyed. I think he rather enjoys it”. He pulled her over him, until she sat just under his ribcage. She smiled, resting her hands against his chest. Her callouses were finally beginning to disappear._

_Rey bent over him, letting her lips brush softly against his cheek. She pulled back, far enough that she could meet his eyes once more._

“ _Rey? What's wrong?”_

“ _You're not alone, you know that, right? There will always be a place for you, with me”. She reached for him, and him for her. Their fingers intertwined, Ben drew comfort and strength from the warmth of her touch._

_“And there will always be a place for you, by my side”. He sat up, until she sat across his hips and he could face her properly._

“ _What is this about?” he asked her softly. She wrapped him tight in her arms, burying her face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her gently._

_“There's something that I have to tell you” she murmured against his ear._

“ _I know”._

“ _Not that” she pushed him playfully. Her eyes shone with tears. He held onto her hands, squeezing them gently, comforting her._

“ _What's wrong?” he whispered to her. She shook her head, slipping her hands free of his. She wrapped him in her arms once more, holding him as though she expected him to be ripped from her at any moment._

_“This is a dream, Ben” she whispered against his ear. “And now you have to wake up”._

 


	18. Facing the Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his role as the new supreme leader of the first order firmly in his grasp, Kylo Ren readies himself to wipe out his last remaining obstacles; the last of the resistance, his wayward uncle and the girl who broke his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! I think I might only have a chapter or two left before I begin to publish the post-tlj part of the fanfic. I'm so excited! What would you guys like to happen? Please leave me a suggestion or two in the comments!

Kylo Ren jerked into consciousness with a gasp. His side was hurting, but it was nothing in comparison to the burning of the scar across his face. He pushed himself away from the floor. He could still feel the ghost of arms wrapped around him. Arms that had never, and would never hold him.

Hux stood before him, his face even paler than was normal.

“What... happened?” Kylo looked over at the severed body of Snoke, his master no more.

“The girl murdered Snoke” he said, pulling himself to his feet. He must lie, and lie well, if he was going to take charge. He walked past Hux, surveying the destruction through the window of the Supremacy.

“What happened?” he asked. Had she been captured? Killed? His heart beat painfully against his ribs.

“She took Snoke's escape craft” Hux replied dryly. Escape. She'd escaped. Relief was painful too.

“We know where she's going”. She had chosen them over him, after all. “Get all our forces down to that resistance base. Let's finish this”. What he meant by that, he wasn't yet sure. Maybe he would kill her and her precious resistance. Maybe he would kill the resistance, and force her by his side. Maybe she would learn, eventually, to -

“Finish this?” Hux asked incredulously, his voice piercing through Kylo's brain. “Who do you think you're talking to? You presume to command my army? Our supreme leader is dead! We have no ruler!” Kylo turned back to Hux, the unfortunate man. He needed to vent, to release the anger that swirled in his gut and threatened to explode within him. Hux was giving him the perfect – deserving – target. He reached out with the force, with all the venom he could muster, and clamped down on Hux's throat.

Hux grabbed at his neck, panic flaring in his eyes. Fear. That was how Snoke had ruled. Hux understood no loyalty, only fear. If fear was what Hux responded to, then it was what Kylo would utilise.

“The supreme leader is dead?” Kylo asked, the hiss in his voice a challenge to the general.

“Long live the supreme leader” Hux choked. Kylo released him. Hux gasped, taking in what air he could now that he could breathe once more. Kylo turned his back on the general and left. He had more important things to concern himself with.

The floors passed by him quickly as Kylo stood in the elevator. It seemed like so long ago, he'd stood here with Rey – with the girl – and she'd made him a promise. _I'll help you._ The words echoed in his skull, like poison in his brain. She had helped him. She'd helped him to rebel against his master. She'd helped him escape his chains. She'd helped him find his heart, once that he'd long-since forgotten and now seemed to only exist for her. Then she'd broken him. She'd offered him a life with a new master, new chains. He'd offered her the same freedom that she had given him, and she'd chosen the chains.

If she didn't want to be free, then he would make sure she died in her chains.

Hux had bowed to his rule and assembled their forces. They headed for Crait. It was an odd planet; red crystallised ground covered by a layer of salt. It had been a rebel base, long ago. Now it would be the final resting place of the resistance.

He stood at the centre, the forefront of the might of the First Order army. His army. He had decided that it was better to keep Hux on a short leash for the moment. He had brought the general with him onto his command shuttle. He had sent out the light shuttles and tie-fighters for the primary assault. They travelled faster than the rest of his fleet, and they may be able to get a shot or two into the resistance base before they hid behind the large door that was built into the wall of the cliff.

The door locked shut. The resistance last stand had begun.

A handful of ski speeders emerged from the resistance base. They shook as they moved and look rusted through, hardly a match for his army. Kylo had several AT-M6s and AT-ATs at his disposal, not to mention the swarm of tie fighters that circled hungrily overhead. The resistance didn't stand a chance.

They seemed determined to die fighting. The ground canons let off a constant stream of fire, each boom echoing in Kylo's ears. They made contact with the first order's front line, but to no effect. They weren't powerful enough to do much damage. “Thirteen incoming light craft” Hux said sourly. “Shall we hold until we clear them?”

“No” Kylo seethed. “The resistance is in that mine. Push through”.

He was angry. More than that, he was furious.

The pieces of his broken heart were like vicious, sharp shards of glass, cutting through him with each beat of his heart. He'd allowed himself to get so weak. He'd allowed himself to believe that the scavenger girl _cared_ for him. He'd been stupid, but no longer. He would take her friends, and she would watch as they died.

The first order fired on his command, the tie-fighters descending on the thirteen ships before them. The ski speeders broke away, swerving to avoid the blasts from the fighters. It wasn't enough; one of the speeders came to an abrupt halt with a shot from a fighter. The shots sent the red soil shooting into the air, as if the very ground were bleeding under their attack. The tie fighters fired on the resistance ground cannons and into the trenches, where men and woman stood trapped between the walls of soil. The speeders were being eliminated quickly. One by one they were brought down. Kylo spotted three fighters on the tail of a speeder, their shots narrowly missing its pilot.

The three tie fighters exploded in smoke and fire as a single shot pierced through them. Even if he hadn't been able to see the ship, he would have known it by the sound of its propulsion system alone. His stomach knotted tightly as rage tinged the edges of his vision a blood red.

It was the Falcon. It was Rey.

His father's ship let out another shot, sending a fighter plummeting to the ground. It was firing off shots faster than it probably ever had before. He didn't need to feel the pull of the force to know who was pushing the triggers.

Rage sept him away, like a boiling tidal wave that threatened to drown him. He heard himself shouting, though it sounded far away to his ears.

“Blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY!”

He didn't care that she was in the ship. He doubted that he ever would again.

“All fighters” Hux called. The tie fighters gathered and tailed the falcon. Rey must have been expecting his rage; the falcon sped off away from the battle, drawing the tie-fighters away from the vulnerable speeders. Kylo lost sight of the falcon as it dived into a crevice in the ground, but it mattered not. She would be dead soon enough.

The cannon was almost within range. It was a monstrosity; a miniaturised version of the weapons on his Dreadnoughts. It could crack the door to the base like an egg. At his command the cannon began to power up, readying itself for its assault on the base.

“Concentrate all power on the speeders-”

“Concentrate all power on the speeders!” Hux's voice echoed his own. Kylo looked at the general, calculating. It seemed he had more enemies than the ones on the salt flat before him. Whether by Hux's command or his own the first order obeyed, firing on the speeders. Another one fell, and another. The speeders seemed to realise how severely outmatched they were, splitting off to make way for the cannon's blast.

All except one.

It was the traitor. The scavenger's friend. He was preparing to sacrifice himself to destroy the cannon. Kylo almost cracked a smile. It wasn't going to work. Even if – by some miracle – he did destroy the cannon, the resistance would soon be surrounded by the first order army. There would be no escape. The resistance would either come out and face him in their death, or suffer the agony of dehydration and starvation. Fast or slow, that was the only choice left to make.

A second speeder careered into the first, knocking both out of the path of the cannon. Kylo didn't pay it any attention; a lone resistance member or two would be quickly picked off by the army. The cannon primed, it fired off a blast directly into the resistance base, leaving a gaping hole in the door that they hid behind.

“General Hux, advance” Kylo ordered. “No quarter. No prisoners”. His voice didn't waver. There was no doubt in his mind. The broken shards of his heart had left him without a spark of mercy. The resistance would end.

There was a figure, stepping out of the smoke that rose from the resistance base. It looked familiar...

“Stop!” The entire army halted at Kylo's command. Shock radiated through his core. How could he not have felt it? How could he not have known that he was here? Rage quickly replaced the shock. It boiled over and hissed in Kylo's mind.

His uncle; the great Jedi, Luke Skywalker, walked out of the smoke. The uncle he had loved, the master he had worshipped. The man who had betrayed him.

“I want every gun we have to fire on that man”. Ben kept his voice carefully controlled. His officers mustn't see how close he was to breaking, how rage and fury threatened to splinter his core and remove his control. He wouldn't be their leader then. He would be an angry child, lashing out. No, he must remain in control.

“Do it”.

The first gun was fired, the soil exploding at the spot where his uncle stood. The second gun fired, and then another, and another. It wasn't enough.

“More!” Kylo called viciously, tasting venom on his tongue. His hands curled into fists as he took control of the guns through the force, urging them to fire again and again, over and over and over.

“MORE!”

Eventually, Hux spoke.

“That's enough” he said quietly. Kylo ignored him.

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” Hux's voice was louder this time. The first order obeyed. The guns stopped firing. The rage in the pit of Kylo's stomach kept boiling over.

Kylo dropped into the seat. Anger had a way of tiring a person out, he'd found. He had more anger than most. Hux turned to him, a look of scorn across his face.

“Do you think you got him?” he asked. Kylo didn't answer. His uncle was dead. His master was dead. His mother was dead. His father was dead. He had only one last person to carve out of his soul.

“Now, if we're ready to get moving, we can finish this”. Hux's words echoed quietly through his brain. It was the pilot's voice that broke through his thoughts.

“Sir?” Kylo rose to his feet, looking out over the battle ground. The red dust had begun to clear, and in it was an unmistakable shape.

It was Luke.

It wasn't possible. It shouldn't be possible. Yet here he was, standing before him. Luke had a grim look in his face, but Kylo thought he saw a little of his uncle from the days of his childhood as Luke reached up and sternly brushed the dust from his shoulder.

It was enough to infuriate him.

“Bring me down to him” Kylo commanded. “Keep the door covered and don't advance until I say”.

“Supreme leader” it was Hux, the wretch of a man. “Don't get distracted, our goal-” Kylo lashed out with the force, pushing him viciously into the wall of the shuttle. He'd had enough of Hux's insubordination to last him a lifetime. The pilot seemed not to notice, or if he did he was very skilled at feigning indifference. Kylo made a mental note to ensure the pilot kept his job, and his head.

“Right away Sir”. The pilot brought the shuttle to the ground and Kylo Ren stepped out onto the salt flat. Luke stood before him, waiting patiently for his nephew to come to him.

The ground was slippery underfoot. To someone who hadn't received training, it might have proved difficult to walk on. Kylo stepped up to face his uncle. He wanted to scream at him, to tell him that he was a traitor, that he betrayed him, that Kylo hated him and would always hate him. Those were the wishes of a child. The man in Kylo Ren wanted to put his saber through his uncle's chest and be done with it.

“Did you come back to say you forgive me?” Kylo asked, his voice thick with sarcasm. “To save my soul?” The wind raced around them. It was almost pleasant, after so long spent in the stuffy, recycled air of the Supremacy. His uncle met his stare with one of his own, not a trace of remorse in his eyes. Kylo's stomach boiled.

“No” his uncle said. He wasn't here for him. He never had been. That was fine; Kylo had given up on his uncle the night he'd woken up to find him with a lightsaber hovering over his throat. He was used to betrayal.

Kylo shrugged off his cape, letting it fall to the floor. It was time to face his demon.

He ignited his saber, ignoring how the sight of it brought back the memory of a slight, feisty brunette who had wielded his weapon as if it was an extension of herself. He didn't need pain. He didn't need heartbreak. Just his rage. Luke drew his saber. It burned a bright, icy blue. Kylo raised his saber, pointing the tip threateningly at his uncle's heart. It seemed to unnerve Luke, who steadied his stance on the slippery salt floor. Luke held his lightsaber by one hand as Kylo twisted his heels into the soil, gaining purchase before his attack. The corner of Luke's mouth twisted upwards in a smirk, a taunt.

Kylo exploded into action.

He crossed the distance between them quickly, aiming a swift sweep of the saber at Luke's throat. Luke moved like smoke, ducking out of the path carved by his nephew's weapon. Kylo aimed for his uncle again, once more missing his target. Luke paused before him, his saber held defensively in his hands as he tightened his stance and brought one foot closer to the other. Kylo readied the saber again, holding it before him, preparing for his next swing. Again Kylo swung for him. Again he missed. Luke bent backwards out of the way of the weapon, almost folding in on himself and spun round to face him again. Kylo might have been impressed if he weren't so furious.

“I failed you, Ben”. It was the voice of his uncle. The same one who had watched over him when his parents were too busy, who had held him as he cried and tried to explain about the monster that kept trying to claw its way through his skull. It was the same one who had taken him to a café on Tatooine, where the milk had been green and strangely sweet. It was the same uncle who had offered to take him in when his own parents were too afraid of his powers to sleep under the same roof as him anymore. The same one who had given up on him, and tried to end his life.

“I'm sorry”. His uncle's voice was thick with regret. It only made Kylo more angry.

“I'm sure you are” he snarled back. “The resistance is dead. The war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi!”

“Amazing” Luke almost grinned at him. “Every word of what you just said, was wrong”. Kylo felt his face settle back into a snarl. Luke didn't seem to care.

“The rebellion is reborn today” his uncle said. “The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi”.

_Rey._ Of course. The memory of her burned. It branded itself into his soul.

“I'll destroy her”. He meant it. Even as it tore him apart, he meant it. “And you, and all of it”. Luke extinguished his lightsaber, drawing himself out of his defensive stance.

“No”. He spoke with absolute certainty. “Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you. Just like your father”.

The memory of his father burned into his eyes, even as he wondered why Luke hadn't mentioned his mother. Surely he knew that Kylo had loved his mother far more than the father that had only visited him whenever he was passing Chandrila. If Luke was expecting Kylo not to kill him, he was about to be sorely mistaken.

Kylo tightened the grip on his saber, letting the warmth of the overheated crystal burn into his flesh through the leather of his glove. He crossed the distance between them in quick, wide steps, pulling his weapon up to slice swiftly through his uncle's chest.

 


	19. A Last Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren has been tricked. Fuelled by the fires of hate, loss and betrayal, he sets out to scour the resistance base for any hint at their next move. He finds more than the dusty, outdated equipment in the mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer-than-usual wait! Things are crazy hectic, but the next chapter is almost half finished and should be posted this week. My adaptation of The Last Jedi is nearly complete, and I already have much of the plot (well, what I think might happen, and what I would like the plot to be) for the next instalment already planned out. What are your predictions for the trilogy's grande finale? Please comment below; I'd love to hear them!

Kylo swung his lightsaber, guiding the blade straight through Luke's chest. He knew instantly that something was wrong. There was no resistance. The blade passed cleanly through him. Kylo should have been able to feel his bones split under the swing; he should have been able to feel Luke's flesh charring under the heat from the blade. He should have felt something. He skidded to a halt behind his uncle, his feet leaving blood red trails as they shifted the salt from the ground. He turned back to face Luke, hoping that he was wrong; maybe he'd destroyed the last of his family after all.

Luke turned to face him. A stranger may have seen a look of casual indifference across his face, but Kylo knew him well enough to see the gloat beneath the mask. His uncle was toying with him. He stepped back over to his uncle – who looked at him with sarcastic disappointment – and pierced his chest with the tip of his saber.  
The weapon passed straight through Luke, as though he wasn't even there.

He'd been fooled. Drowned in heartbreak and rage and sorrow, he'd allowed his hatred to get the best of him. He'd been blind-sided by revenge. He'd told Rey that she couldn't have projected herself to him, because she wasn't powerful enough. He hadn't expected his uncle to try it. He doubted that Luke's old and weary body – disconnected from the force for so long that not even his sister and nephew had been able to find him without a map – would survive the attempt. Yet here he stood, ready to give his life to stall Kylo for a few moments. What could Luke possibly gain from stalling him?

“No.”

He pulled the lightsaber back from the projection of his uncle, knowing already that it was too late. Luke had beaten him once more. The face of his uncle was stern – saddened, almost – as he brought an end to the projection.  
“See you around, Kid” he murmured as he faded from view.

Kylo was left standing on the salt flat, the entire first order baring witness to his failure. He turned back to the salt mine in desperation. The resistance were escaping! His last chance at preventing the failure of the mission was slipping away before his eyes. Overcome with rage, the pit in his stomach boiled and hissed, finding an outlet in his voice.

“NO!”

Under his orders the snow-troopers descended to Crait's surface. His rage was palpable; it was a living thing coiled around his heart. Snow-troopers at his heels, he led the way into the resistance mine, determined that if he was going to lose to them today, at least he might find something to work out where they would be tomorrow.  
The mine was dark, lit only by hastily engaged floodlights at random, chaotic intervals. The dirt beneath his boot was a mix of a dark soil and the redness of the crystal. There were boxes and crates stacked throughout the mine, though he doubted they would find anything of value. What technical equipment they did find seemed to be hopelessly outdated.

He followed the path to the left. Dirt became metal under his boot as he stepped into the bunker. It was dark, and the snow-troopers had torches, but he signalled for them to wait outside as he entered alone. He had an uneasy feeling, as though someone were watching him.

There was a reinforced glass window that allowed the light from outside to flood into the room. It also offered a vantage point overlooking the area he'd occupied during his fight with Luke. The resistance had been watching. They had probably known all along that it was only Luke's projection that stood between them and the first order. The room was as dusty and outdated as the rest of the base; filled with more of the same ancient equipment. Thick power cables snaked across one side of the floor. In amongst the dust, something caught his eye.

His father's dice.

A small pair of dice, connected by a thin gold chain. They had once hung in the cockpit of the millennium falcon. Now they lay abandoned in a dusty mine. He should have been surprised to feel his mother's presence still lingering in the room like a perfume, but he was not. She must have been injured, of that he was certain, but there had been room for doubt after the attack on the resistance ship. When her time came he new that there would be no room for doubt; he would feel her death with absolute certainty in his weary, aching heart. Kylo dropped to his knees, intending to retrieve the dice. Where his gloved fingers brushed the dice he expected to feel their weight, which would be surprising for such a small object. Instead he felt nothing.

There was no warning this time, when she came to him. He let his eyes follow the pull of the force, leading them up and onto the image of the girl standing before him. He could see her. He could see the falcon. The sight of her hit him harder than it ever had before, harder than he thought possible. His anger dissipated instantly. His orders to fire on her, to kill her, seemed reckless now. Reckless and wrong. He'd been blinded by the pain in his heart. Now that he could see her, he realised that the pain was worth it. The pain – the girl – was in his very veins. She coursed through his heart, leaving him empty and broken inside but relieved = no, desperately grateful – that in his heartbreak he hadn't managed to kill the only thing that made him feel as though he had a heart at all.

She was bringing the resistance – the few who had survived – aboard the falcon. He could see the wound on her shoulder where the praetorian guard had struck her. He remembered her pain intimately. He'd felt it, when they had fought together. Her pain had become his as his mind had flooded and merged with his own.  
She seemed not to know he was there. Maybe their connection was weakening. Maybe this was the last time he would feel her mind pressed against his, their bond open and vibrant. It was only when she turned to check for more survivors that she caught sight of him, and hesitated.

She could have shut the door. She could have snarled at him, called him a monster, as she had only a few days before. She could have hated him. She should have hated him; she'd come to him, intending on fighting an impossible battle to win him back his soul. He had only offered her one option, the one that brought her to his side but left her as alone and disconnected as him. He had offered her the galaxy, not realising until now that there were some things infinitely more important; some things worth cherishing, worth far more than what the galaxy had to offer.

She could have been angry. Instead she looked sad.

Her hand hesitated on the door. She drew a sharp breath as she saw him. The pain in her eyes was such that he could almost believe that she returned his feelings of heartbreak and betrayal. He'd hurt her. She'd hurt him. Now, he was forced to watch her disappear from his grasp forever. He wanted to call out to her. He wanted to beg her to stay. He wanted to steal her away like a creature in the night and force her to her side, praying that eventually she would find it in herself to care for him as he did for her. He did nothing. He was no dashing prince from the pages of the books he'd read as a child. He was no knight, nor a dragon-slayer either, sent to defeat the monster and win the heart of the fair maiden. In the tale of his life, of the truth, he was the dragon, and she the knight.

Still, he begged. He begged in his heart. He begged in his mind, hoping that she would reach out and fly away with him; take his hand once more. He knew her well enough now to know that it was pointless. She was a free bird, beautiful and awe-inspiring but ultimately unobtainable. To put her in a cage would be to let her wither and die. It would be a slow death for them both, and he had no wish to be cruel.

She pressed the control for the door. It rose up between them, cutting him off from her once more. The connection broke. Maybe it had broken for good this time. Kylo was left alone once more. He looked down at the false image of his father's dice as they faded from view and curled his hand tight. He was the master of the knights of ren, the supreme leader of the first order, the ruler of the galaxy, and yet he had never felt more powerless, more alone, than he did now. He had come so close; he had believed, for a moment. But this was no fairytale. Knights did not fall for dragons, and Rey could not be forced to love a monster.

Kneeling on the dusty floor of his mother's base with the memory of his father's cold metal dice and the echo of the girl's gentle touch, Kylo Ren had never felt so powerless in all his life.


	20. Peace and Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resistance survivors escape from the planet Crait aboard the millennium falcon. All around her people are celebrating their survival. So why does Rey feel so lost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my rendition of The Last Jedi is OVER! I hope you all enjoyed it, and as always I'm grateful for any constructive criticism!
> 
> Update: It's taken longer than I thought it would have (I've been massively busy with typical student stuff) but I've now began posting the sequel to this work! I've named it 'A Spark of Hope', after what I think is the current favourite official title for the ninth episode (?) I hope you've all enjoyed this little story, and I hope I've made you all curious as to what comes next for Rey, Ben and the rest of the star wars characters.

The millennium falcon was bursting with people. It was a hive of activity, of celebrations and mourning, of relief and exhaustion. People were hugging around her, clasping their friends hands and holding their loved-ones close, each one desperately glad to be alive. In a sea of people, why did she feel so alone?

As if he'd sensed her discontent, BB-8 rolled over to her, chirping delightedly. She caught snippets of information – he'd chirped out party, coins and AT-M6 before she'd even had time to react to his presence – and smiled in spite of herself. The little droid's happiness was infectious. He bent his head to let her inspect his new antenna.

“It looks good” she said, touching the antenna to make sure it was straight. Her affection for the droid seemed to attract attention. A man had turned to look at the pair's gentle exchange. He couldn't be much taller than she was, and Rey recognised the jacket he wore. It wasn't the same one, but a replacement for the one he'd given Finn. The man walked over to her, confirming her guess about his height as she rose to meet him. He had kind eyes and a crumb of bread stuck stubbornly to his t-shirt. Where so many had perished, the crumb had somehow managed to survive the attack on Crait.

BB-8 turned his head sharply, beeping an ecstatic greeting as the man met them. It wasn't difficult to see that the droid utterly, completely and entirely adored the man, and he seemed to return the affection.

“Hi” he said, as she rose to meet him.

“Hi” she returned his smile, feeling the ghost of warmth returning slowly to her bones.

“I'm Poe” the man said. Poe, the man that was undoubtedly BB-8's friend – though he seemed more like a mother duckling – and the ace pilot that Finn had spoken briefly, but highly, of. She smiled, taking the hand that he offered her, shaking it firmly. He did not burn feverishly like others she tried to bury in her memory, but his touch was warm and gentle.

Rey” she replied. The man must have heard of her, no doubt some tale by Finn blown exceptionally out of proportion. She wondered what Finn had told this man about her, that he knew her by name, though she had spent scarcely more than a few hours in the resistance base. He smiled. His face had a way of lighting up as he smiled. He nodded to her, as if to confirm her suspicions about his conversations with Finn.

“I know” he said. His smile almost made her feel warm.

Poe was quickly called away by one of the resistance members, a girl with blonde hair tied into two buns. The warmth she had felt in his presence faded quickly. Rey took a seat, observing the cheer and merriment around her. It didn't seem right, somehow, that she should feel so lost and alone in the middle of so much happiness. Yet alone was how she felt. Her mind drifted back to Ben, as it did so often these days. She had expected fierce and burning hatred after she had failed him so miserably. Instead, the expression in his eyes had been one she could not translate into words, but it had left a hollow ache in her chest nonetheless. She could still smell the scent of iron and sweat that lingered on her like a leftover memory. It clung to her clothes, to her hair, as though determined not to be ripped from her. It was a comfort, somehow, even if it did leave a tight knot in her stomach.

Finn stood on the other side of the room, for a moment too preoccupied to notice her presence. That was okay; she needed some room to breathe. The falcon felt crowded, almost claustrophobic, with so many people on board. Finn was draping a blanket over an unconscious girl. He took such care with her, handling her as if she was made of glass. The girl was precious to him. The simple touch brought to mind the echo of a touch best left forgotten. She tried to commit it to memory – the brief comfort of a hand against her own, the man who might have been, the boy she'd betrayed – but it would not stay in her memory. It demanded to be felt. It demanded that she acknowledge the pain in her heart.

She looked at Finn, fussing over the girl, and saw herself. She could have stayed by his side, waited for him to wake. She could have reached for his hand instead of the saber that now lay in two pieces on her lap. She could have trained at his side, ruled at his side. Kylo Ren clearly did not listen to anyone but himself, but Ben Solo would listen to her. He would be gentle, an equal instead of an opposer. He would have let her make changes to the first order. He would have supported her. Together, they might have even turned the first order into something worthy of the responsibility of governing the galaxy.

She could see it, real and tangible before her. The storm-trooper program no more. Children no longer taken from their beds. Slaves, liberated and given fair treatment, fair pay. Her hand, wrapped tightly in Ben's. His touch, a comfort once more instead of a pain. His eyes, warm and welcoming, supportive unconditionally. Once more she wondered if he smiled the way she had in her vision, when he'd greeted her with a warm, sleepy smile, his father's brown jacket across his shoulders and a cup of coffee between his hands.

General Organa sat down beside her, breaking Rey from her reverie. The woman looked at her with sad acknowledgement, perhaps believing that the lost expression across her face was in light of the death they both mourned. No matter how long they waited, the truth would still be with them.

“Luke is gone” Rey said, her eyebrows drawn tight with worry. “I felt it”. Leia nodded, her eyes falling softly to the floor. In just a few short days the woman before Rey had lost her husband, her brother and many, many friends that had perished on the escape pods. Maybe – faced with such a magnitude of loss – she had given her son up as lost too. The look in the general's eyes was one Rey knew well. It was pain. For now, it was Luke that she mourned for. Rey had only known the Jedi for a few short days, but his death had stolen away the air in her lungs. She couldn't begin to imagine how it must have felt to Luke's family; his sister no less.

“But it wasn't sadness or pain. It was... peace, and purpose”. She meant it. Rey had felt no fear during Luke's passing. He didn't shy away from the death, but stepped into it gladly. He'd died so that the resistance might live. Rey wondered if Jedi believed in the afterlife. Was Luke somewhere out there, reunited with the father who's soul he'd saved?

Leia nodded.

“I felt it too”. The general's face betrayed no pain, even after all she had been through. Faced with the older woman's strength, Rey felt like a frightened child. She looked away from Leia. All around them people were celebrating. Friends held each other tight. Lovers embraced. Each one had a smile on their face, for the moment just happy to be alive, when so many had already perished. There was less than thirty members of the resistance left – though Rey could name less than a third of them. How could they hope to survive against the might of the first order?

“How do we rebuild the rebellion from this?” Rey asked. It seemed such a daunting task, stretching out before her. She didn't know where to begin. She still held the two broken pieces of Luke's saber in her hands. Somehow they still felt cold, even after so long against her skin. Leia smiled at something behind Rey – Poe, she guessed – and held one of her hands gently against one of Rey's.

“We have everything we need”. Leia replied. Rey could see something deep in the general's eyes. It shone and glowed with a fiery strength and brought a smile to Rey's lips; for the moment quelling the ache in her heart.

It was hope.

 


End file.
